Best day of my life so far

I have had the best day of my life so far! 🙂 I’m completely shattered but so so happy.

Well I suppose I will start at the beginning of the day. I woke up at 6:45am, which was way before my alarm lol. But didn’t get up till 7am. I was still tired but just couldn’t sleep anymore. I had a shower, got dressed and had some toast for breakfast. Then I took Roxy out for a walk and a wee. I came back and watched T.V for a little while and then my gf and her daughter came over. I made D a quick cuppa tea, before we had to leave as she was taking me to group. I gave her some money so they could look round the charity shops. 

Group today was good. It was only an hour long as both usual therapists are on leave, so we had two other therapists to cover. Which was nice as one of them was my 1:1 and the other ran the group that I was in while I was waiting to join DBT. So it was great to have a quick catch up with her and tell her how I am doing etc. Again there was only 3 of us, so as usual I ended up doing a lot of the talking an interacting. Which I don’t mind but it gets tiring carrying the group along. But was SO glad today was only an hour long. 

So D and K picked me up from group and we headed over to Bournemouth and we went to the Oceanarium. It was really great fun. I loved looking at all the different fish, otters and other little creatures. I’ve been there a million times, but I still love it and my girls made it so so special. We went and had some lunch, which was yummy! then we walked through the park and looked at the birds and I got the squirrels to come up real close to us. I said next time we will take some nuts to feed them. We then went back and looked some more at the fish. It’s so great once you have bought tickets you can go in and out all day. This time the otter family were all awake and running about, which was so amazing to watch them play and swim. There are 5 of them altogether, a mummy and daddy otter and 3 babies that they had last summer. I bought us all a year pass for the Oceanarium, so now we don’t have to pay each time we go, so we can now go whenever we want, which is so cool!

We then left as D had to go for a medical for her employment support allowance (benefits) She was a bit anxious about it, but I said she just had to describe how day to day life is when she is at her worst. I waited outside with K as there were somethings she needed to tell them that K doesn’t know about. But she did it by herself, so well proud of her for that. After we nipped up to my mates house. I am looking after her place while she is away. She asked me to look for something she needed me to post to her, but I couldn’t find it. So might have to go back and have another look. 

So we came back to my place and chilled out and we watched Finding Nemo, which was a nice. I’ve not seen that film for ages and it kind of continued our fishy theme. We saw real nemo fishes at the Oceanarium. After the film we all went to the pub for some dinner, which was yummy K and I had chicken tikka masala! and D had scampi and chips. We had pudding too, K had a massive chocolate brownie sundae and she ate it all! she even ate all her dinner too! Man can that kid eat lol. D and I shared a hot chocolate fudge cake which was well yummy! 

We came back to mine and said our goodbyes. It was sad but I am going back to stay with them both on Saturday, so only a day away. I think I am going to spend tomorrow catching up on sleep! I’m babysitting two little monkeys tomorrow night, so that will be nice. I’ve not seen them all in a while.

I have been blessed with such an amazing gf! and her daughter who is such a sweet kid. I love D with all my heart, body, mind and soul. I have never ever felt like this before. I feel so happy and contented being with her. I feel so relaxed around her, I can be totally myself around her. I don’t have to pretend or hold back, I can just be me because she accepts me for who I am and how I am, which I have never had before. 

  

Peace out

Tank girl x

feeling good :)

5 freaking weeks of group (dbt) left! OMG excited is an understatement lol! It’s been a huge part of my life for 7months now, it has been a massive help, but I am so ready to start living my life as myself rather then my labels! I cannot wait to re start maths and eventually get into university. I just want to be me, without being tied down 2 times a week. It is such a big commitment, yes it has helped. But I am so ready to move on with my life now. 

I am hoping to start doing thai boxing with my gf and her daughter, it will be great for them both to help build some confidence. I don’t need that, I just need the exercise. I have done it before and really enjoyed it.

Today I had my 1:1, it was difficult trying to fill an hour as I don’t really have a lot going on right now other then being in love lol. I know I have to keep a check of myself and my moods, but I know I can handle it. I’m strong now.

Had a good day today. D came over this morning for a cuppa tea before she and K dropped me at group. They went charity shopping while I was at my 1:1. Then she picked me up after and we came back to mine, D had another cuppa tea, then we went into town and I got K and I some lunch, D wasn’t hungry. Then we picked up the bra’s I had ordered and looked round a few more shops. I so didn’t want her to leave, I miss her so so much. Just been relaxing this afternoon/evening, just looking after myself.

Cannot wait for tomorrow. Group is only an hour long tomorrow, just the teaching bit as both therapists are on leave, so we’ve got 2 different therapists. After group I am taking D and K to the Oceanaruim and lunch as well, going to be a lovely day! 

I’ve sorted out my bday! We are going to mokney world 2nd march! I’ve invited some family and friends to join my lil family. I invited my step dad. I hope he comes, as I miss him very much. He will always be my step dad and I’ll always love him. It’s going to be a great day. I do struggle with my birthday as I can get uncomfortable with being center of attention, but I will be ok.

Peace out

Tank girl x

Going good :)

So I am home after spending just over 2 weeks at my girlfriends house. Her daughter is on half term for a week, so they are going to spend some mommy daughter time for a few days. Which is cool as I think I need a few days for just me. Although I am so going to miss falling asleep with her and waking up with her.

Despite not really being home, the flat was in an absolute state! lol I have 2 loads of washing to do, the cat litter to clean and just a general tidy up. I’ve only really been home to set up my new fish tank and to check on marley cat. I think we were just a bit of a whirlwind when we came back here, plus it wasn’t massively tidy when I left it to begin with. 

So last night my girl was feeling a bit manic and not really up for sleeping, so we ended up pretty much pulling an all nighter. Which was cool, we watched a film and sat up and talked for hours, which was amazing! I just wanted to carry on and chat, but she convinced me that I needed to take my meds, so she made me something to eat, I took my meds and we snuggled on the sofa and watched a film, well I fell asleep cuz I’d took my meds. She was still feeling a bit manic, so she left me snuggled up on the sofa with all 3 dogs and she tidied up her bedroom. She woke me up when she came back into the lounge, but it was about 9:45am and again bless her she made me something to eat and we had snuggles on the sofa and talked a bit, then I feel back to sleep till just before 12pm. She was sweet to let me sleep as she could see in my eyes when I’m really tired. After that we both got up showered, dressed and ready to go out. We came back to mine to drop my stuff off and Roxy too, then we went back out and did a few bits in town and I got some more fishies for my tank 😀 my poor girl was so so tired, she left me by about 3:30pm-ish. I sat and ate and chilled for a bit, then I decided I needed to clean! So I cleaned up from top to bottom, took a few hours, but it’s worth it. I feel so much better for it. 

Caught up on my e-mails and facebook and a few posts on here. So many good moments have happened. I am feeling so relaxed and contented right now, which can feel a lil uncomfortable at times, but I am really trying to enjoy it. I’m just going with what the flow right now. DBT has really helped me maintain a good and healthy relationship! 

I’m so going to get an early night tonight. I’m going to take Roxy out at 9pm, get back jump in the shower, take my meds and relax in bed. I have SOOOO missed my bed, my girls mattress is bad! It’s way too soft for my joints. Gonna have to sort that out.

Here’s some pics of my gf’s dogs, our new rats, our fish and my gf 

 Lily, Daisy and my Roxy 

 My Valentines presents from my gf 🙂

 Our rats, Flame (white) and Jet (black) 

 My gorgeous girl and my Roxy pup

 New parts of my leg piece 🙂 (Joker and Harley  Quinn) 

Peace out

Tank girl x