Sick and tired of always being sick and tired…

Last night was crap ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I was in bed by about midnight last night. I was looking at myself in the mirror and found yet another white hair! So I pulled it out. Lol. I put on Tangled but ended up watching the whole film. You got to love a Disney film ๐Ÿ™‚ After I put Alice In Wonderland on and fell asleep.ย 

Early hours of this morning I woke up in so much pain… Just like I did Sunday/Monday and again I ended up with sickness and diarrhoea, but didn’t last too long. Snuggled up on the sofa, put the TV on and fell back to sleep till about midday.ย 

Woke up feeling better, but so so drained! On a good note though I got my 1st period since coming off the pill, which is a good sign. But I’ve had period pains all day, so been taking tramadol and paracetamol to take care of that.

I put on jeans, shoes, and a coat and went to the shop to get myself some Lucozade to get my sugars up.

Came home, swapped jeans for pj bottoms, took some pain killers and had toast and a bottle of Lucozade and snuggled up on the sofa watching CSI.ย 

I am so anxious about taking methotrexate tonight… I really hope it doesn’t make my tummy bad again! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am so over this now! I despise being sick! I can’t wait for my blood results too. So worried that the WG is getting worse! I hate being so ill, really gets to me. Limits what I can do…

Had a bit of couscous for dinner, but I couldn’t eat it all. I wasn’t really hungry. Just been snuggled up on the sofa all night, not had the energy to do anything else. Feel so crappy. I feel sorry for foxy, either I’ve not been well or the weather has been crappy and we’ve not been able to go for a long walk….:(

ย โค best friends

Peace out

Tank girlย 

ย 

Incredibly lazy day

I have been incredibly lazy today! ๐Ÿ™‚ But fuck it!ย 

Got woken up by the post man at about 10:30 am.. Jumped out of bed to answer the door. So yeah rudely awoken BUT I got my CSI…. I have all of them but one season isn’t boxed and its been bugging me for ages lol. So finally re-ordered a boxed set.ย 

Just sat chilling out watching CSI ๐Ÿ™‚ and I put together my Lego! Freaking LOVE IT!ย 

Had a shower, got dressed, took foxy for a wee, brought her back, went to the shop, came back. Played my FB games and chatted to a friend on fb.ย 

Had dinner, went to work.ย 

Just chilling before bed, watching CSI of course! Got my lil Bertie boo tomorrow for the night.

Mentally feeling ok, physically could feel better.ย 

Just feeling ok

Peace out

Tank girl

Blood, sleep and coughing…

I didn’t get to bed till about 1 am.. I slept REALLY well though. Didn’t get up till midday ๐Ÿ™‚

Had something to eat and drink, got showered and dressed, took foxy for a wee, dropped her home, answered the 4 texts I woke up too.ย 

Headed out to get my bloods done, luckily I didn’t have to wait too long, the nurse was like look away…I was like LOL! I’m covered in tattoo’s and very much used to having my bloods done, so I made a point of watching the needle go in and come out! and I watched the blood come out. Just fingers crossed that everything comes back ok…as I know some of the symptoms I’ve been having can also be related to problems with the liver, like tummy pain, the random bouts of sickness… So yeah fingers crossed. Can’t say I’m not worried about it all, because I am so worried about my condition getting worse :/

I walked back through town and a little bit accidently walked into a shop and bought another Lego Batman set ๐Ÿ˜€ I got some electric too…that makes it all ok! ๐Ÿ™‚ LOL! Looked in a few shops. But was starting to feel so tired so came back home.ย 

Got home to a very excited puppy, its like I have left her forever! ๐Ÿ™‚ I love her so much. So put the TV on, grabbed a pillow and my blanket, snuggled up. Foxy snuggled up by my feet and it wasn’t long before Gizmo and Batman joined! We all snuggled in and fell asleep for a good few hours.ย 

I deffo needed that nap, as the day has gone on my cough has got worse and I have felt poorly, so tomorrow I think I am going to book a doctors appointment.ย 

Just sat waking up from my nap watching TV. Didn’t really know what I wanted for dinner, don’t really have much of an appetite at the moment, just seem to be picking at food as and when. I went to the shop and came back with, couscous, cheese strings and some wet food for fox and the cats…ย 

Fed the animals and had some couscous for dinner, which was nice. The rest of this evening has been spent doing the usual, fb games and catching up on here, oh and watching CSI.ย 

Its 10:30 pm and I feel so awful, totally shattered ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So I think I am going to get to bed soon.ย 

Peace out

Tank girl

Meds, blood and rock and roll!

I managed to have a good nights sleep last night, although I wish I could have slept longer. But for some reason I was up at 9:30 am, I had the cats crying at the bedroom door.ย 

I sat on the sofa and watched the TV for a bit. Then I put a load of laundry on, did the washing up and cleaned up the flat a bit.ย 

My tummy has still been feeling a bit sore. I had a shower, got dressed and took foxy pup for a wee. Dropped foxy home, went back into town and had a little look in a few shops, I just needed to get out for a bit.ย 

I felt so tired, but didn’t want to nap, so I just chilled out watching CSI ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

Mum picked me up and we headed off to my appointment. We were so early though. But that time of day traffic is really hard to judge until you are in it.ย 

My appointment went well, he agreed to lower my methotrexate back down to 20mgs a week from 25mgs, as he agreed that the higher dose was making me feel poorly. He had a feel of my tummy and he listened to my chest. He looked back through my blood test results and he wants me to have a blood test done tomorrow as in December my liver function was high, so he just wants to check to see if everything is ok. So fingers crossed this lower dose will make me feel ok and my bloods will come back ok!ย 

Me and mum picked up something for dinner and went back to hers for a bit, which was really nice ๐Ÿ™‚ 1st dinner I’ve eaten since being so poorly. Then we popped into to see my brother, he wanted to show off his new sofa lol. Bless him he’s so funny, when he gets new stuff he just wants to show it off. Mum’s the same. He did show us he PS4 its SO cool! Deffo want to get that and the Xbox one, might have to update my Xbox elite sooner rather then later as it keeps making funny noises when I turn it on… deffo on its way out. Mum dropped me home about 9 pm and I’ve just been playing FB games and been catching up on here.ย 

It’s now 12:40 am, so bed time after posting this! Not got anything planned for tomorrow, just going to rest and maybe have a potter in town again just to get out.ย 

Peace out

Tank girl ๐Ÿ™‚

So poorly

So last night I was up with sickness and diarrhea, it was only for about 2 hours, but man I felt rough, puked up all my meds so hard slept a wink.ย 

My heart kept feeling funny, I’m was going from hot and sweaty to cold and clammy, So I rang my specialist and spoke to his secretary and she spoke to him and rung me back. She rang back to say he wants to see me tomorrow.

Not been able to sleep at all ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Mums taking me to my appointment, which is cool, as it is a bit of a long trip on the bus, it takes 2 buses there and 2 buses back and takes about an hour each way, so mums going to leave work early bless her.ย 

Not done anything today, had to re-arrange foxy’s grooming session and told my work I’m sick and won’t be able to work tomorrow, but going to keep them posted.ย 

Had a bit of couscous for dinner, just something easy and light.

Just been sat watching CSI

I feel so cold and clammy, so I rang out of hours and all he heard was I had a bad tummy it must be a tummy bug… GAH! Stupid prick! I can’t keep a temperature! I am SO cold, my hands and feet are worse.

Going to do my med box up after this and get myself to bed and hopefully sleep!ย 

Peace out

Tank girl

All sorts of cravings… WEEKEND!

I’ve had a good weekend… but to start..

I HATE METHOTREXATE! I thought I was over the side effects of the higher dose… It’s still making my burps taste SO gross and I’ve got tummy pains again tonight ๐Ÿ˜ฆ MEH

So Saturday…Took me a while to get going in the morning lol, fatigue seems to be worse in the morning. Maybe its the cold weather. I eventually got myself over to L’s to pick up Harvey and I took him on the bus to the Oceanarium. He was more hard work then usual today, he’s TOTALLY obsessed with his tab and because of that he now think everything is a game. In the Oceanarium there is a camera in with the sharks and you can control the camera to look around the tank and he kept asking me it if was a game and if he was winning… same with the “diving” tank where all the screens are interactive and I struggled to pull him away from it. So yeah I didn’t really enjoy it because he wasn’t really interested. I took him for lunch and he wanted to go home… to play with his tab I am assuming, but I said no. At lunch he said “we can go back to see the fish if you want” I said ok cool, but I was taking him back there whether he wanted to or not lol. But again he was so obsessed with the camera and the interactive bit… and the professional said he was ok.! Hmm ok.ย 

Went back to L’s and ended up staying most of the night, just chilling out and chatting. Didn’t get back till gone 1am. So didn’t get to bed till about 2 am.ย 

I woke up this morning about 11 am omg I was so tired. The guys I worked with were wanting to meet up with the dogs.. but it was raining and I was just too tired.ย 

(again while I write this I am taking ages, looking on fb and other things lol)ย 

Took fox out for a quick wee and I came back snuggled on the sofa and fell back to sleep till about 1:30 pm.ย 

Just chilled out watching CSI ๐Ÿ™‚ I didn’t get showered and dressed till 4pm lol! So lazy.

Me and my mate went out for a nice roast dinner ๐Ÿ™‚ my lil tummy needed that! and it was great to catch up with my mate. We’ve been friends for a LONG time and now seems we are both on the right track in life, which is awesome!ย 

Just been watching CSI this evening.ย 

Tomorrow I am taking foxy girl to the groomers so she can see again lol haven’t got much else planned.ย 

Ok so I recently got offered some coke (cocaine) I turned it down because of now working with young people and the fact I’ve not done it in so long and didn’t know how it might have made me feel. But the idea of doing it has been stuck in my head since. Logical thinking KNOWS I shouldn’t touch it, but kind of craving it now… *sigh* I’ll just ignore it and hope it goes away. Stupid thing is its SO easy to get hold of.

Peace out

Tank girl

Lazy day, self care

It’s been a real lazy day! ๐Ÿ™‚

I didn’t wake up till about midday. I needed that sleep. I just chilled out watching CSI and snuggled on the sofa with my babies.

It got to about 3pm-ish and I did the washing up, hoovered up and did a load of washing. Had a shower and got dressed. Took my foxy girl for a wee, it was horrible and drizzly out.ย 

I spent 2 hours putting together my new Batman Lego set ๐Ÿ˜€ LOVE IT! I love putting together the sets, really helps me focus.ย 

I’ve just really spent today watching CSI and chilling out. Just a day to myself, which I really needed.ย 

Tomorrow I am taking Harvey to see the fish ๐Ÿ™‚ I booked our tickets online and saved 15% on each ticket! Bonus! I can’t wait. I’m sure he will ask where to great white sharks are lol. Then I am having Albert over night. I can’t wait ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

Feeling pretty good, cold keeps coming and going, one min I feel really rough, the next not too bad. So hoping it will just go on its own. Mentally feeling good too, haven’t noticed any difference in my mood yet from my lowered dose of quetiapine, but its only been a few days. But fingers crossed it will continue to be good.ย 

ย A better picture of my new tattoo.

ย Riddler and Flash

ย Batman ๐Ÿ™‚

Peace out

Tank girl

Tattoo time :D

I aimed to get to bed early last night….. but I failed. Ended up getting to bed just after midnight, then when in bed I got the giggles lol! ALWAYS happens when I’m tired and trying to sleep. But I went off eventually.ย 

Woke up at 9:20 am, just chilled on the sofa watching crappy TV. Put my sausage and bean casserole on for dinner. Showered and got dressed and took miss puppy out for a wizz.

Met L and fatty bub Albert and we had a sneaky KFC for lunch, looked in a few shops. Went into see S ๐Ÿ™‚ and Albie was cooing away and smiling. We walked down to the tattoo shop. L had her little tattoo done, while I fed fatty bub. L couldn’t stay long as she had to get back to pick up her other boy. I then had some work done on my back and I had a small tattoo done behind my ear and honestly it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. My back piece is coming along nicely and other tattoo is CUTE! ๐Ÿ™‚

I got home and snuggled on the sofa with my babies for a bit ๐Ÿ™‚ I then had shower and that was a bit sore, but I needed to warm my little feet up. Got dressed and had my dinner…. and dropped it down my clean tshirt lol! Chilled out a bit more and then went to work.

Work was cool ๐Ÿ™‚ So loving it.

I nipped to the shop and treated myself to a DVD (Epic) Which I am going to watch tomorrow and I got some little kinder eggs that are filled with yumminess ๐Ÿ™‚

The rest of this evening I have been trying to wind down, but its so hard. I am totally shattered now and its nearly 1 am.ย 

OMG I got my tickets for Russell Howard through the post CANNOT wait to see him. Seats aren’t amazing, but still ๐Ÿ˜€

ย Back piece so far ๐Ÿ˜€ย Shooting star, in dot work not a clear picย 

Peace out

Tank girl

FOOD!

OMG will my cravings ever STOP! lol. Can’t seem to stop gorging…only wish I was able to purge! but alas I HATE being sick! and my IBS has been playing up a treat this week so no help needed there atm. Main cravings are chocolate (which is unusual for me as I am not a massive chocolate fan) cheese and bread! It’s so fucking frustrating, as much as I am working out, its just maintaining my weight as I am eating WAY! too much. Least I can fucking own it! I know where I am going wrong. But I am on 2 meds that do NOT help! and I think coming off the pill hasn’t helped either. I need to get more focused and be much more mindful of what is going on my fucking fat mouth! Deffo going to start tomorrow! I need to shift this weight for my health and for my own self confidence. I mean my p-doc weighed me and he was like well you are over weight but not obese! Yeah cheers for the reminder lol!ย 

So yesterday was foxy’s 2nd bday. I think she had a good day. I woke up, cleaned the flat as it was a total fucking PIT! had a shower and got dressed. I didn’t want to spend too much time out as I worked last night. So foxy and I got a taxi to the pet shop, I got her a new hoodie, some treats and I bought them all a water fountain ๐Ÿ™‚ Got a taxi back. Set up the water fountain, gave all the animals some treats, totally spoiled them all. I then spent to afternoon resting, watching CSI and I think I had a little sleep too. I took foxy out for a wee. Had my dinner and got my stuff together for work and headed out. I was a bit early again. Always hard trying to get the timing right.

Work was fun ๐Ÿ™‚ made Chinese lanterns and yeah just over all good night.ย 

Got bad and took a while to wind down. Ended up going to the shop to get bits to make hunters chicken. Didn’t get to bed till about 2 am. But I fell asleep pretty much straight away, which is cool. At the moment the lower dose doesn’t seem to be effecting my sleep.

Didn’t wake up till gone 11 am and it took me ages to come round! Just sat on the sofa in a bit of a daze feeling like CRAP! I sorted out dinner and left it to cook. Put on a load of washing. I had a shower, got dressed and took foxy out for a wee… cold fucking sweats is not nice! Decided to drop foxy and go into town and treat myself. I came back with jeans, a top, boxers and a new lego batman set ๐Ÿ˜€ BOOM!ย 

(gah taking me ages to write this…. keep getting distracted and my tummy is playing up)

Spent this evening, trying to relax and watch CSI. I had dinner and it was really nice, but it was quite sweet, even for me. Downloaded Skylar Grey’s album, so glad she’s brought one out! ๐Ÿ™‚

Feeling good mentally. But I feel like crap physically, I keep getting cold and hot sweats, I ache all over, my chest is sore, I’m more tired and snotty then usual… *sigh* I rang the docs… the nurse isn’t in this week and my GP is full… AWESOME! So I’ve got to ring 1st thing to try and get an appointment. But I am busy tomorrow so will have to be Friday.

Got a tattoo session tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜€ an hour on my back and getting a shooting star behind my ear! cannot wait! totally need it ๐Ÿ™‚

Peace out

Tank girl

ย 

2 appointment day!

Had my p-doc app and CPN app one after the other this morning.

I struggled to get going. But I was early for the bus, so that’s cool.ย 

My p-doc was good, he agreed to lower my Quetiapine to 300mgs to start with and see how I go. No point being on a higher dose if I can managed everything by myself. Plus I am hoping it will help with the weight loss. He weighed me and I am classed as over weight, but not obese lol. So yeah the appointment went well, he’s happy with my progress. CPN however… was again a ย bit pointless….But I humoured her. We talked a bit about work etc a bit about how I am doing mentally. She still doesn’t know the answer about me having an assigned worker for a few months to make sure I am coping ok with work..GRR! But whatever! this is her dropping the ball. My next p-doc app is April, but if I don’t hear anything before the end of Feb I will chase it up myself!

Got into town and had to get some electric as don’t want to run out over night lol! Came home, watched some CSI and had an apple for lunch, oh and some sneaky chocolate ๐Ÿ™‚ I think I might have a period this week as I am craving chocolate and this is the week I am due (if I was still on the pill) So fingers crossed I do keep to a pattern. I also had a sneaky nap (another sign of being due on, I get unusually tired)ย 

After my nap I headed over to the advice centre for my lil meeting. We quickly caught up 1st and then got to it. Sorted out what she can help me with in regards to the job search and we’ve come up with a good plan! So really happy about that! ๐Ÿ™‚ Chilled out there for a bit.ย 

I went and got my new dose of meds ๐Ÿ™‚ I am curious to see if I still sleep ok on the lower dose. I did on 200mgs when I had Albert, but I think that was because I was tired. But I am hoping working out will help with me sleeping ok.ย 

I had dinner and spent the rest of this evening watching CSI and playing FB games. After I write this I am going to do my work out, sort out my meds for the week and get to bed. Want and early one.ย 

Tomorrow is Foxy’s 2nd birthday ๐Ÿ™‚ so after I clean the flat I am going to take her to the pet store and get her a little something! Then I need to see if I can find some bits for the lanterns.ย 

Well that’s it for me tonight, I am already sat here yawning!

Peace out

Tank girl x