Crazy ass day! SUGAR RUSH!

Wow so I don’t have a full day to myself till Wednesday! :s

Today has been good, met up with L and baby Albie and we went shopping 🙂 and had lunch. Was a good day. I had too much sugary stuff lol! 

It got to 3:10pm and I was just about to hop on a bus when I had to sudden realisation that I had a p-doc app at 3:40 pm! EEEK! Total panic! So I got some money out and jumped into a taxi and thankfully I got there with 10mins to spare and the taxi wasn’t that expensive! BOOM lol. Shame my app was SHIT! My app was meant to be 20mins… I had half that! I was all buzzed and in a muddle because of nearly missing my app. I explained I had put my meds back up to 400 and the reason why, he just said ok…there was no real discussion about it at all! Which was weird. I asked about the CPN I was meant to get BEFORE mine fucking went on leave! He said well I can’t promise anything… yet it was promised that it would be sorted!!! And then he tired to rush me out of the office, but I hadn’t really finished! I was still wanting to talk about my little obsessions, with foods, things and actions. I think its misplaced anxiety, but he just said oh I don’t know what that could be… because he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself properly. He was just more interested in me working! GAH! prick I fucking hate him sometimes, its totally reverse psychology! 

Anyway got back into town and got more sugary shit! My excuse is its nearly my bday so I can pig out till then lol! Got home, ate…sugary stuff haaha, chilled out for a bit then went off to work.

Work was FAB! got told I am a good youth worker *blushes* I really have such low self esteem when it comes to doing something good, because I don’t think its good enough or whatever.. But yeah… I suppose I’m doing ok, or the young people wouldn’t talk to me.

Just been relaxing this evening, got a busy few days coming up! I cannot wait for Wednesday! My 1st full day to myself. Tomorrow I am seeing my auntie for a bit, then taking my friends husband to see the local mosk and to a few shops that sell halal  meat. So that should be interesting. Saturday I am seeing my mum in the day, in the evening I am going round a friends. Sunday is my bday! EEEK 20 FREAKING 9! When did that happen lol! OMG. So I have a friend coming over in the day and I am going out in the evening, so that should be a good day 🙂 and Monday I am doing my 1st ever school assembly! I am SO nervous!!!!! and Tue night I am working 😀 So yeah mega busy, but loving it!

Bed very soon for me and my pup! LOVE HER!

 Me and Albie waiting for his mummy to try on clothes 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl

Wicked Wednesday

Got to bed at gone 2 am this morning and was up at half 10 am. It was hard to get up as I was so tired. 

I met up with a colleague from work who I have become friends with, we went out for lunch, that was nice and then we had a little wander about town. We ended up at mine for a bit, as we both needed to sit down lol. Then D got picked up.

I’ve just been chilling out this evening. Not had any dinner yet, but have had my marmite and cheese swirls… that will do lol.

Going to do a few courses I’ve seen on just to keep me busy in the day and it will help with work etc.

 Hair cut 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl

Every little thing is going ok

Today has been pretty good. I didn’t get up till 11am-ish. Then had a quick shower and got dressed. Went and had my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed. 

Came home stripped off and yes I did do the house work naked lol! 🙂 Then had a shower and got dressed.

Made some marmite and cheese swirls which were awesome! and just chilled out watching TV

I headed off to work just gone 5 pm, picked up KFC on the way. Work was great fun as usual. 

After work I went over to see C her bf C and it was his bday. I bought him some Halo figures which he was very happy with. Had a good giggle.

Headed home just after midnight and got home to one excited puppy, took her straight out for a wee, now I am sat here updating this! Tomorrow I am meeting up with D.V who I work with, we are going for lunch, so that will be nice. 

I’ve had to put miss Marley moo in the bedroom away from batcat as he is in heat and just being a total pain! and is constantly chasing my poor moo’s. So got to sort out a water and food bowl for her, oh and litter box.

Mentally feeling ok, still going into my own little world now and again, but doesn’t seem to be as bad as it was. Physically doing ok, so that’s cool 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl 

The start of another week

Well what have I done today…. I woke up early for some reason this morning, had nothing really to get up for. So watched a bit of tv before getting showered and dressed. Took foxy for a wee. It’s raining yet again today! ugh.

Had a look about the shops, got some electric and paid my rent. Got foxy a real cute hoodie 🙂 god my dog is spoilt lol. Went into the advice centre for a bit to catch up with everyone.

Went to the shop to get some cat food and something for dinner. 

Put my key into the electric meter and it came up as £20 which is what I put on there, but when it came up with the current balance it only came up as adding £10! WTF! so had to ring up the electric company, she took a meter reading and I’ve got to call back Wed/Thurs as then it will show on my balance what I put on or something… but yeah it will be sorted. 

Made pizza scrolls for dinner, which were yum. Didn’t have a lot though. Not really hungry.

Just been chilling out this evening, watched Childs play 3! 🙂 So funny. Mega obsessed! 

Bed time soon, its midnight here now! EEEEP! Got meds to sort out yet!

 My pup’s new coat 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl 

p.s this has taken like over an hour to write due to slipping in and out of reality 

Catching up

I’ve not really had a chance to catch up since Friday. I’ve been pretty busy.

Friday I went to see Russell Howard with S and omg he was great, so funny. I had a really good night with her 🙂 We got back about 11:30 pm and after just chilling out for a bit, I took foxy for a wee, dropped her home and I went to the shop to get a few bits.

Saturday was LONG! I got up and ready early as I was on a course from 10-4 pm doing forum theater. It was really good fun and I learned a lot, but it was really emotionally draining and it really took its toll on me emotionally. It made me feel a bit down and agitated, it made me think about a lot of things. About how my life is now etc… a big one is I miss physical contact :/ I was sat next to my project manager S.G and I put my head on her shoulder because I was starting to get tired and she asked if I was ok and called me a snuggle monster..which was cute, but I could of totally just stayed there and maybe even fallen asleep, it wasn’t a sexual thing at all. But in that very short moment I felt loved… I know that’s weird. But yeah… anyway. Forum theater was fun. 

I got dropped home and man I felt exhausted! So I just rested. But couldn’t switch off enough to nap. I just chilled out, had a bit of dinner. G who I work with rang me at 9pm and asked if I wanted to go over with foxy 🙂 which was really nice and I needed it. So yeah foxy and I went over and spent a few hours there chatting and watching a film. Got home about 1:30 am.

I spent most of today sleeping 🙂 but I think I needed it! I didn’t get up and dressed till nearly 3 pm… I rang G to see if he wanted to go out with the dogs seeing at the weather was nice. We met up just gone 3 pm and we were out for about an hour and a half which was cool! It was fresh out lol! I think we both needed a bit of fresh air. 

Just been relaxing this evening. Had a bit of dinner etc. Watched some Chucky films…obsessed much lol.

Feeling a bit ill, not sure if that’s because I am over tired and. I ache all over and feel so tired. Bed soon for me and foxy 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl


Walking and napping

Today has been a good day 🙂

I had a really good sleep last night. 

Eventually I got up, ate, showered and dressed. Then foxy and I went to see S and took her husband out for a walk. He’s come to live here from Egypt. We were out for a few hours, did lots of walking, fed the ducks etc. I think he had a good time. I certainly did. It was nice to get out and about. 

I got back and ended up having a nap for about 3 hours lol. But I must have needed it. 

Just been eating random stuff again today… had a bacon sandwich for dinner.

Off to bed soon, as I am still so tired. I am a bit more with it today. But still not 100%

Peace out

Tank girl


So I slept well last night and I managed to get up to take foxy to the groomers, it was a much needed appointment for her. I felt so tired still, but I managed to keep going until I got back home. At least my baby can see where she is going now lol.

This afternoon, I snuggled up on the sofa and crashed out for 3 hours, which I totally needed it. 

I woke up and just chilled out for a bit, then I went to the shop because I needed some food and just came back with the most random stuff lol, my appetite is just still weird right now, I’m hungry but don’t really want anything. So I had cereal for breakfast and later on in the evening I had a bacon sandwich omg it was so yum! 

Just been relaxing this evening. I’m feeling a little better, still in and out of my own little world. But its not been so bad today. Tonight however seems to be taking forever to write, but I think I am tired still too. 

Hopefully now on the higher dose I’ll start to feel much better.

Peace out

Tank girl 

In and out of lucidity

Right I think I’m having a lucid moment right now… I think I have for the last few weeks been in and out of my own little world. Like I have been losing hours of time just sat on the sofa in my head, totally in my own little world. Even now as I am sat here I am in and out of a total day dream. I just don’t know wtf is wrong atm. I had about an hours sleep last night, its now nearly 3pm and I am still going! URGH I have work tonight. 

I’m just in a total glazed state constantly… I can’t seem to get out of it, its worse when I’m alone. At work I’m ok. 

This is taking too long to write, I can’t really focus. Its worse because of little sleep. I need an energy drink 😀

Anyway I’m off to try and get my shit together…

BTW keep getting TOTALLY obsessed about stuff, its starting to take over…shame its not obsessing over cleaning.. lol

Tank girl