Meds, sicky, sleepy me…

So not been about for a few days as my methotrexate has been messing with my stomach again.

Monday – This was a busy day! I cleaned the flat and ended up staying the night at L’s as she had to take Albie up the hospital cuz he was poorly. L had bought me a batman top and a pink snapback cap 🙂 

Tuesday –  I was back home by about 11 am, unpacked my bag etc and chilled out. I took a 90min nap in the afternoon. Had a shower got dressed, took fox for a wee and had dinner. I started getting stomach pains and horrible burps again… So was un-sure what to do about work. But I did end up going. Work was good. But by the end of it I was feeling REALLY poorly 😦 Got home, nipped to the shop to get myself a few bits. Got home and ended up being sick… I laid down in bed for a bit and ended up nodding off for a bit, I wanted to make sure my tummy was settled before I took my meds and went to sleep. I didn’t end up getting to sleep till gone 3 am.

Today! I felt a bit better today, tummy is still a bit sore and I am still feeling a bit fragile. So I’ve done nothing but sleep and chill. It was much needed. I did however manage to get hold of my specialist’s secretary and she is going to speak to him on Tue about changing from tablets to injection, so hopefully by next Friday’s dose it will be injection and not tablets and it will be better for my stomach.

I am meant to be going camping with the youth group of Fri…. but I am a bit nervous about going with my stomach how it is… So not sure what to do about it…. Maybe I’ll just wait and see how I feel tomorrow. We aren’t going far, but still I don’t want to be feeling and being ill in the middle of a field…. GAH I am so freaking over dealing with this chronic illness… 😦 

Mentally just tired, drained, fed up etc… Physically the same! 

I’m thinking maybe to be safe that I shouldn’t go camping… *sigh* I don’t know. I mean my stomach is still really fragile now and I have to take another dose of methotrexate on Fri…Urgh.

Just so not feeling anything right now…just over it all 😦

Peace out

Tank girl

Tried, exhausted, sleepy..

Today I’ve felt loads better, just totally wiped out. But I made sure I didn’t nap today so I sleep well tonight… that is the plan!

I was up and dressed by about 12 pm and put on my sausage and bean casserole in the slow cooker. 

Just tried to chill out watching films… But I just couldn’t get into any film! So annoying. Just didn’t have the concentration. Couldn’t seem to do anything today. Just so so tired.

Spent pretty much all day on my butt watching tv. I did take fox out a few times for a wee, but we didn’t go far.

Dinner was yum as always.

Got nothing to say really. Got my chesty cough back, that seem to have gone for a bit. Mentally feeling ok I suppose. Just so exhausted. 

Sometimes I forget I live alone and can do what I want without worrying about others lol. I had a 2nd shower earlier and I was like ooh but what about the water etc lol…I’m so weird!

Just watching the end of Wall-E 🙂 such a good film

Oooh waffle time 😀

 

Peace out

Tank girl

Sicky Saturday

I took the girls for a wee last night and felt ok-ish. I took my meds, but didn’t take the methotrexate, I don’t think my poor tummy could take it.

I snuggled up in bed, but my tummy was really sore and I felt hot and sick. I ended up being sick. I laid in bed with just my blanket over me and just chilled out and fell back to sleep pretty quickly. 

Didn’t wake up until 11:30am when my buzzer went, it was G coming to pick up Sammy pup. Who was so good last night. It was her 1st sleep over away from her daddies. 

Still not feeling to great, I just chilled out on the sofa, catching up on things I had recorded the weekend I was away. 

My head was really sore, so foxy and I went to bed for a bit. I was feeling pretty wiped out. 

Woke up and had something to eat. I was pacing about wondering what to do… in the end I decided to clean up the flat as it was a total pit and the cat litter boxes stank! Took me about an hour. Felt loads better for cleaning up. 

Had a nice shower and got dressed, took foxy for a wee. Then went to the shop and got a few little bits. 

Made myself a steak dinner, didn’t manage to eat it all. But the steak was so yum! 

Just been trying to chill this evening. I still feel really fragile, but better then I was. Tomorrow I am going to ring my specialist to talk about my meds, as I can’t keep feeling ill due to the methotrexate. I have been on it for 14 yrs now and its clearly not liking my tummy anymore.

I keep looking at my foxy dog and thinking that I am so blessed to have such a good dog. She’s amazing! 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl x

Poorly again… :/

Not sure where to begin…

This week has been long and busy. But its been good. 

Work had been good, we’ve got another busy month coming up though. Next weekend we are taking the young people camping, as we’ve been asked to help out at a May day music festival, so that should be fun. On the 10th May we are meeting up for another Forum theater workshop to get our play about homophobia down. Then on the 20th May we have a conference called Diverse Dorset all about Diversity. There are 9 strands to diversity and they are:

• age
• disability
• gender reassignment
• marriage and civil partnership
• pregnancy and maternity
• race
• religion and belief
• sex
• sexual orientation

So the conference will have different stands and workshops for teachers and students. In hope to educate! We are going to perform our little play, so its all very exciting 🙂 Our next project will be to sort out what we are doing for Gay pride in July. I’m not sure I will be marching this year, especially if it is as hot as it was last yr. 

L has been really low lately. So each day I have been talking to her and sending her little pictures, to let her know I love her and that it will be ok. I went over on Wed after the school run. Harvey was excited to see foxy. I had made L a little care package with little bits and bobs, socks, bubble bath, a bracelet, sweets etc. She loved them all. I stayed the night too. I left at 2 pm as I had work that evening and my friend wanted to see me. L didn’t want me to go bless her. I’ve been talking to her each day though. 

It was good to see my friend yesterday, I’m glad she is out of hospital. She’s still not 100% but I have every faith that she will continue to feel better. 

Today hasn’t been a good day for me. I woke up feeling so sick! 😦 Luckily I wasn’t sick, but I had a really bad stomach. I spent the majority of the day feeling so ill and so achy. I don’t think its a bug, I really think its the methotrexate again as I’ve had the same stomach pain and the same horrible tasting burps. I didn’t get round to ringing my doc about it. I will see how I go over the weekend. 

Sammy pup got dropped off this afternoon and she’s been so good! She spent a few hours asleep in her box while I was sleeping. She can finally jump up onto the sofa 🙂 Both dogs have been so good while I’ve been feeling poorly. I need to take them out soon. 

I really need to take the girls out for a wee soon. But I still feeling a bit shaky. I’ve not eaten much today because of not feeling so well. Just eating some ginger biscuits, in hope they will settle my tummy.

Over all feeling ok, despite being ill. Hope I sleep well tonight and wake up feeling better.

Peace out

Tank girl

Easter camping fun :)

Ok so Friday 18th April I went off camping with the 4 friends. 

We went to Burnbake camp site in Swanage. Foxy and Sammie came too. 

We got set up pretty quickly 🙂 it was such a nice afternoon. 

It was such an amazing weekend. Too much for me to sit and write what happened each day. 

There was lots of chatting, laughing, walking the dogs, hunting for good bits of wood for the fire pit, making fire, cooking, sleeping, toasting marshmallows, they drank a lot, I had my Pepsi lol, splashing in puddles, huddled in the tent away from the rain, reading, chilling. Just generally bonding 🙂

Over all it was just a fab weekend. I really enjoyed myself 🙂 and so did foxy. It was her 1st ever camping trip and she loved every minute of it and behaved so so well.

I got dropped home late evening, I unpacked, did a load of laundry, gave foxy a wash as she was filthy and smelt like wet dog lol, I then had a nice hot shower and got in clean clothes. Got a few bits at the shop. Had myself a little snack. 

Had myself some dinner and spent this evening catching up with people on FB and here. Uploaded loads of pics from the trip and the few videos I took. I did 2 loads more of laundry. 

I am so exhausted! and I ache all over. But I so needed that weekend away. I feel great! re-focused, more positive and ready to keep facing life head on. Just waiting for the last load of laundry to do, then I can get to bed. I am SO looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. 

 Us lot 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl

Such a loser!

Didn’t get to sleep till gone 3:30 am! 

I didn’t wake up till about 1 pm this afternoon.

Done nothing but sit about and eat.

No motivation at all. I’m so tired too. 

Very frustrated.. I want a gf! so bad. I’m horny as hell. I hate that I am over weight and un-cool.. URGH I am such a loser… :L 

Peace out

Tank girl

Buz Buzz Buzzz Buzzzz

Last night I was in bed by 11 pm and I think I pretty much managed to sleep soon after. 

I got up at a reasonable time this morning, had something to eat and just relaxed a bit. Did the usual morning routine and got showered and that. Waited till 12 pm for my friend D to come over.

When D arrived we pretty much went straight back out and took miss foxy girl for a walk. Which was really nice as the sun was shining again 🙂 

Dropped foxy home and D and I went into town, I bought myself a sleeping bag, as I am going camping at the weekend. I am SO excited for this. I am going away with work friends as it is G’s 50th bday, so D and I bought some banners, balloons and a few silly things to take with us, should be so much fun. I want to pack now lol! I bought myself a pirate top ready for Harry Paye day in June, so excited for this. Hopefully going with L and the boys and I am hoping my friend S will come down to stay with me, so he can come too. I got G a batman top for his bday present. 

Took the shopping back to mine and headed back out to Bournemouth where we went to the pub for dinner and looked in a few shops to kill time before work. 

Work was awesome 🙂 felt like I did some really good youth work tonight, so pretty proud of myself. 

I got back and took fox for a wee, then I went to the shop to get some bits for camping! I am like uber excited and almost want to pack right now lol! But not going till Fri. It will be foxy’s 1st camping trip 🙂 

It’s now 2:30 am and I am still freaking buzzing so much lol. I need to take my meds and get my ass to bed really WOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😀 lol

Peace out

Tank girl

Why are Mondays always productive…

I’m really trying to sit and concentrate to write this. As I really want to get to bed early. I need to stop going to bed SO late! I didn’t get to sleep till gone 3:30 am this morning. 

I forgotten I had set my Alarm for 9:20 am, so I came into the lounge and put on the T.V and fell back to sleep until 12:30 pm! Had something to eat and drink. I finally managed to get my ass into gear and cleaned up the flat and did 2 loads of laundry. It hurt my wrist SO much doing the hoovering. I put on a sausage and bean casserole in my slow cooker.

I showered and dressed, still in shorts woohoo as the sun is shining 🙂 I rang my nan and grandad to see how they were. Had a nice chat to them.

Foxy and I headed out for a walk at about 2 pm. I had put my splint on my wrist just to give it some support, as its so achy. We walked down the high street and down to the Quay and bumped into my neighbours and stopped to say hello to them. It was so nice and sunny and warm out! We had such a nice walk along the water, chatting to other dog walkers and other people out walking. Fox loved running through the green grass when got to that part, chasing other dogs etc. We went under the under past to the park and walked around the lake, talking to other walkers 🙂 it was so so nice. We didn’t get back till 5 pm! 

Had some waffles when I got in, I was so hungry. Just relaxed until 7 pm when my dinner was ready. Dinner was so nice.

I am so tired! It’s nearly 10 pm, so after I have written this I am going to sort out my meds, take fox for a wee, have a nice shower as I am feeling all sweaty and gross and hop into bed 🙂

Mentally feeling ok, much better then yesterday. I seem to be a bit more focused. Physically I am still really chesty and coughing up shit and my wrist is really sore, nothing pain killers and sleep wont help with.

 The field of daises 🙂

Peace out

Tank girl

Obsessions taking over..

Does obsession come under ADHD or bipolar… or just OCD on its own?! I keep getting REALLY obsessed with stuff and it really is interrupting daily life.

Like right now I am watching a youtube video over and over and over, but I really need to sleep, but can’t seem to tear myself away… 

I am also obsessed with Frozen, I can’t stop watching it. Also Obsessed with reading and playing Batman Arkham asylum…but its so difficult because I want to do them all at once but I can’t. Then I can’t decide on what I want to do 1st so end up just spending hours sitting not doing anything! because I can’t decide what to do 1st. 

Some days its so bad like today that I hate to leave the flat! cuz I need to be doing one of my obsessions! 

I need to go to bed… but I just can’t seem to function or do anything other then watch the same video… right now its on! while I am typing. I’m starting to go backwards again and I keep losing hours at a time and I really don’t know why. I can spend just hours sat in silence just in my own world. I’ve explained this to my p-doc last time I saw him and he wasn’t really interested… I don’t see my O.T till the 23rd. 

*SIGH* 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED5892BKPU8 This is what I am watching lol

Peace out

Tank girl

Mixed up weekend.

My lil chunk was good for my Fri night. He only stirred twice and was easy to settle back down.

We got up at about 8 am, so that was cool. Not too early lol! We sat and watched Adventure time, he was glued. I think it was because of all the bright colours. 

Fed him his breakfast, which he gobbled down! This boy can eat lol! I did the usual morning routine, eating, showering etc. 

Spent the morning with my brother and Jack. We just pottered about in town for a bit, then just played with the boys at mine. Dave was playing with Albert and I was building a lego house with Jack. I’m not sure who had more fun me or Jack lol, he did ask me why I had lego..I just said so he can play when he comes over…. its so I can play really! haha. 

Mum and her BF came down in the afternoon. So that was cool. I was feeding fatty when they turned up, so he didn’t eat much because he was too interested in everything else lol. I changed his butt before we headed out and Jack thought it was funny that Albert had a willy like him! So funny! We all headed out for a little walk, took foxy girl too. Albert was intensely watching Foxy as we walked along, so cute. 

We got back to the flat and went our separate ways. I really needed a sit down lol. I just flopped on the sofa with Albie and reclined right back, plonked him between my legs with his toys and we watched Spongebob for a bit. He fell asleep! lil monkey, its because he didn’t sleep much this morning, too much going on. It was just as I was about to start sorting his stuff out to take him home. I was hoping he wouldn’t sleep long but he did  

Got little chunk back home and Harvey was SO pleased to see him! So cute. Mummy was too. I was shattered and my wrist was killing me. Albert is so heavy that when I had picked him up my wrist popped, its my weak wrist anyway, always getting tendonitis in it. I helped L unpack Albies stuff and put it away, while Harvey was playing with him. She did the boys dinner and I did mine lol, I was so hungry. I ended up staying there most of the evening, we were just chatting and chilling 🙂 just generally having a laugh.

I got back about 11 pm-ish, took fox straight out for a wee, came back sorted myself out and got into bed with her 🙂

For some reason I woke up like 8:30 am this morning WTF lol! I had something to eat and drink and ended up falling back to sleep on the sofa. 

Oh woohoo my period came today! But I’m kinda glad as I am hoping it will be gone by the weekend as I am going away. 

I’ve just been SO lazy today. Despite the weather being nice, I just couldn’t be FUCKED to do anything other then veg out on the sofa! I did shower and dress and take fox for wee breaks, but that was it.

Oh I had the police at my door again. I didn’t let him in, just talked to him through the intercom… looking for my friend again. I was so worried as I couldn’t get hold of her. But it was resolved quickly.

I’ve not even had dinner, but then I’m not really hungry. Tomorrow I will do my bitch jobs. 

Mentally I am feeling a bit down, just meh really. 

Physically just tired and achy. 

Been listening to songs all evening. Makes me feel good. I just feel at peace when listening to the music from since I can remember, stuff my dad liked, stuff mum liked, my 1st album etc 🙂

Peace out 

Tank girl