So I don’t even know where to start with today. My mind has been pretty all over the place. I think the main stress is I gotta see my p-doc Mon, he always freaking stresses me out. But I know my mind hasn’t been in the best place recently.
Urgh its taking me ages to write, so I get this all out properly and if I don’t I’ll just keep stressing lol.
I slept well last night and nearly fell straight to sleep. I think a full belly helped. I woke up early though and did the usual thing of putting the pups in the lounge with the balcony door open and I went to bed for a little bit.
I had two bowls of cocopops for breakfast 🙂 well the cheap version anyway lol! I sat about a bit….looking at the shit pit that was my flat. My body felt so heavy and lethargic this morning. Hate feeling like this. But I cracked on and cleaned it all up! It always feels good when its done.
I got showered and dressed and took my pups for a wee. They both behaved this morning and didn’t stress me out too much lol.
Once again I rang up to see when the lift will be fixed…apparently tomorrow…We shall see!
Group was ok today, although a guy there kept really bothering me. Being all over the place and getting to near to me. I spoke to M who runs the group at the end. That was good.
Got a few bits before I got home and when I did the pups went insane lol, jumping all over me like I had been gone for a million years. Had a sandwich and caught up with my housewives that I had recorded and had a little Ben and Jerry’s ice cream 🙂 So yeah just been chilling this evening. I’ve needed to calm my head down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my gender recently and I don’t know where to start really.
But I suppose I’ll start with my journey.
Over the last year or so I have been struggling with my gender identity. I was born female, but don’t really feel like it. So after learning about all the different gender identities I now feeling comfortable and confident to say that I am gender fluid. Which means I identify more as a male, but I don’t want to change my gender physically. My main reason for that is because I want a child and if I was t transition and become fully a male that wouldn’t be able to happen, because of the hormones. I may look into binding my chest, but that doesn’t come without its problems. But there is a local group I can attend for support, so that’s cool and I hope I have support from you lot on here. So yeah. I’ve not really thought about a change or pronouns though..like he/she whatever. But maybe that’s something I can work through. I just gotta figure stuff out and work stuff through. But yeah I’m Dyllan and I am a guy 🙂
Tank girl (I am going to think about changing this to something more fitting)