Feeling shit

Urgh so I feel so pants 😦 just really run down and coldy. IBS is playing up as well.

Made a few phone calls today sorting out appointments etc. Scrappy has the vets on Weds to see if his nuts have dropped so they can book him in too have them off.

P-doc was ok-ish. He agreed to put the quetiapine down by 100mgs a month. Which is cool. He is going to write to my WG specialist about other medication so they don’t interact etc. We did sort of talked about the gender stuff. He just asked what we should do about it, like its a problem to be sorted and I didn’t really know what to say….

Urgh just feeling shit tbh 😦


Zero energy as usual

Oh man I feel totally wiped out. It’s 7:30 pm and all I want to do is go to bed lol. But its too early just yet.

Also I’m hungry, but don’t really fancy anything…Just been picking.

So I saw my WG specialist Fri. Not the best app. My liver enzymes keep going up, so he wants me to go back to monthly blood tests. Told him that in my right nostril I can put my finger right up it. He said I shouldn’t be able to do that. He’s still building my case for the infusions. But he is going to change me from tablets methotrexate to injections. So will be given an app to see a nurse who will teach me how to do it.

I came home and played Skyrim…I thought I would be tired, but I wasn’t. Had dinner, then went to group, which was cool.

Went to the shop after group. I was texting my friend and I was hyper and she was bored, so invited her over to stay the night. I got in a did a little tidy up of the place. We chilled out for a bit and caught up, we we’d not seen each other for a while. Played C.O.D 2 for a bit.

Saturday morning, I rang to change my CT scan app as I was just feeling rough and its a long trip to get to the hospital and back. I put a chicken casserole in the slow cooker. We pretty much just chilled out, watched films etc. Was really nice. I was in bed before 11 pm last night I was SO tired.

Today I’ve just been doing nothing…..I feel so tired, I just have zero energy. I did pop to the shop and get a few bits and went and got myself some Skylanders as I had some more money left on my card 🙂 Didn’t get round to playing though.

I had some chicken casserole for dinner, but didn’t really fancy it. I’m still hungry, but don’t really want anything….Urgh, hate when my appetite is like this.

Got my p-doc app tomorrow…so nervous. I hope he got my email. So I won’t have to start the awkward conversation :/ Anyway, I’m trying not to over think it.

Nearly 8 pm…Too early for bed…Maybe. I might have some toast.

Peace out


Feeling fine :)

Ah feeling fine 🙂

Slept well last night. I actually got the bed early. I took the pups out, took a nice shower and had a hot chocolate in bed.

I was up early, chilled, showered, dressed, ate and took the pups out 🙂

Headed out and I met my friend S before group which was really nice, we had a drink, looked in a few shops and had KFC for lunch, then it was time for group.

Group was good. I was really glad to be back there 🙂

Got back into town after group and decided to treat myself. I had about £100 saved up on a game card, so I went and spent half of it. I bought Call of Duty Black Ops 2 and a headset, so L and I can play online and talk to each other. I also got Skyrim Elder Scrolls v because apparently its a really good game and there is no wrong or right way to play it.

I got home to two very hyper happy puppies 🙂 and no pee or poop and no destruction! Woohoo! 😀 Man its cold in here though. So I put the heating on and put my dinner in the microwave to heat up and yeah that beef casserole was definitely what you need on a cold, windy day.

Sent my email to my p-doc a head of my app Mon. About why I want a med change and about all the gender jazz.

Got my WP specialist tomorrow, so got to get a fairly early night. Think I might have a look at Skyrim tonight or play about with my headset too 🙂

Feeling pretty good, just bloody cold!

Might have a hot chocolate

Peace out


Dinner success :D

I slept well last night. Although I woke up about 5:30 cuz I needed to pee..So annoying! But I got back to bed and went straight back to sleep. I got up again at 9:15 am. Seems to be a regular time I am getting up at which is cool.

Just sat watching tv just waking up. Then I got my butt up and prepared my beef casserole and then threw it all in the slow cooker.

Had myself some breakfast, got showered and dressed and put a load of laundry on. Took the pups out for a run for about 20mins. It was so windy out, but the pups loved running about.

Dropped them back and I went into town as I needed some pots to put my left over dinner in. They keep going missing, either the lids or pots lol!

Came home, hung up the laundry and did another load. I just sat for most of the afternoon watching tv as I just felt so exhausted! Everything felt so heavy. I didn’t want to nap, but I did need to rest. I had lunch and a hot chocolate. I knocked out an email of what I want to send to my psych and emailed it to M and R for in put. M is going to talk to me about it after group.

I took the pups out a bit before dinner was ready and they had a good run about 🙂 love watching them play.

Came back and chilled out. My dinner was finally ready 😀 and oh my was it yummy, I even had seconds! Which is not like me. I need to try and eat better.

Just been sat in front of the idiot box this evening. I’m going to clean up the kitchen after this. Then do my nightly routine and get an early-ish night. Going to meet a friend before group tomorrow. I cannot WAIT for group! 😀

Peace out


Catch up of nothingness

Not really been about as I’ve not really had much to say.

Saturday I had my flu shot. It killed my arm. Spent most of the day at my aunt’s. It was good to catch up. Went into town, treated myself to jeans and a top and got a few more xmas presents. Chilled out in the evening. Went over to L’s to look after the boys while she went out for a bit. I stayed over the night.

Sunday I felt really poorly. I got a taxi home because I felt so awful. Got home and I was asleep on and off and I was being sick 😦 I couldn’t even keep water down. Finally managed to take the pups out, take my meds and went to sleep.

Monday I spent, sleeping and eating to get myself feeling better. Had a lovely long shower that made me feel more human. Took the pups out a few times and just chilled out. I went over to see C in the evening and had a good night.

Today I spent pretty much all day sleeping on and off again. Still getting over this flu shot. I did finally clean the flat and go get some food to do in the slow cooker. I just need to get more pots to freeze stuff in.

Just been relaxing this evening. I’m SO tired. going to get myself to bed soon. Feeling ok though. No real plans for tomorrow, other then cooking.

Just feeling ok…

Peace out


Stupid stairs!

I slept pretty well last night. I was up just after 9 am and didn’t feel drowsy. I think that was because I got an early night last night and didn’t need to sleep off my meds.

I had breakfast and watched a bit of tv. Got showered, got dressed and took the pups for a wee. And lil scrappy was a good boy and didn’t leg it lol. I dropped them back and I headed up to the hospital to get my bloods done. Didn’t have to wait about too long.

I got back and took the dogs out for another lil run about. The weathers been raining on and off all day, so didn’t want to go far with them. On the way back home did not go well 😦

Oh man, so I feel crap 😦 stupid lift broke AGAIN! The bloody thing keeps working on and off. So I walked up the stairs, scrappy tripped me up and fox was behind me. Not sure what happened, but I landed on my knees, luckily not squishing either pup, but I must of got fox in the face, as she started licking like crazy. Looked at her mouth and her two front teeth are wobbling and are a little bloody 😦 omg I cried. My poor girl was shaking away. I felt so so bad.

I got in and man I was sweating! What is with the warm weather. So I stripped off. Put a pj top on and made myself some lunch. Fox had some ham and cheese, so that made me feel a little better.

The poor thing hasn’t really stopped shaking 😦 so I rang the vet and they didn’t have any free appointments, but he said the teeth should firm back up and she’s probably in shock. So I’m just going to keep an eye on her the next few days. My poor baby girl.

I got a shower, I felt so gross. Had snuggles with my foxy girl, while I watched tv. She just sat on my lap for ages. Loved the snuggles, but hated that she’s still sad.

I watched Gotham, episode 1-4! OMG it was amazing! 😀 totally in love with it.

Lil miss fox hasn’t moved out of her bed all night. I gave her a bit more ham to cheer her up. She’s not drunk since earlier 😦 her teeth are still a bit wobbly. Just leaving her be.

Going to get us too bed soon. Gotta be up early to go get my flu shot! Joys! Hoping I won’t feel too poorly afterwards.

Hoping my money goes in tomorrow as well…The benefits have changed from incapacity benefit to esa, now on my letter it says from the 22nd Oct…but usually get paid a Sat and Tues..so I am hoping I won’t have to wait till Wednesday.. :/ Meh…I got like £15 to last me.

So yeah not a bad day, but still feeling bad for my poorly foxy baby ❤

Peace out


Walks, films, pups and pie

Today has been a little better. I got to sleep gone midnight, but I was in bed by 11 pm.

Woke up just after 9 am, had some breakfast and watched tv. Still felt a bit drowsy from my meds so fell back to sleep till about 12 pm.

Got up, got showered and dressed and took the pups out. I was NOT impressed with Scrappy’s behaviour! He ran off right into the road! He is SO lucky he didn’t get hit and YES he got a smack when he came back to me. Someone shouted at me for smacking him! It’s not like I booted him, or hit him hard. I disciplined him. Urgh. When we got back I put him out on the balcony. He stayed out there while I did myself some lunch.

Settled down for the afternoon and watched Horns with Daniel Radcliffe.. It was an ok film..glad I didn’t pay to see it.

After the film, the weather was still ok. So I decided to take the pups for a walk. The weather hasn’t been amazing, so we’ve not really been on long walks. We had a really good walk, met some lovely people and other dogs. Most of which scrappy humped lol! Definitely getting his peanuts off soon! Lil monkey. Foxy smelt something nice and rolled around in a puddle and she came running over soaking wet lol! She looked like a drowned rat lol. Bless her.

We got back, pre-heated the oven and had a pie for dinner.

Just been relaxing this evening.

Tomorrow I need to get my bloods done and then rest. I got my flu shot Saturday, so I need to be fairly well.

I’m a happy boy today. Although I really missed group. Can’t wait for everything to get back to normal.

Peace out


Midweek flatness

Well I’ve done nothing all day! The weather is pants, I have very little money and not much motivation to do anything.

I had some hospital letters come in the post today. One was a reminder letter…but it was weird because I didn’t even get the first letter for the app lol. So got an app for my bone doc. Also got a CT scan of my sinuses this month.

Starting to tell a few close friends about me being a guy etc. Had really positive feedback, so feeling really good about that.

The weather looks like it maybe a little better tomorrow. I really NEED to get my butt out and take the pups on a proper walk. Need to stop being lazy. Also need to get my sleep back on track. It’s all gone a bit skewiff at the moment.

That’s it really. Mentally feeling pretty good and physically not so bad.

Peace out


Something and Nothing

I think I got to bed around 2:30 am? Something like that. I was up by 9 am though. So I had breakfast and ended up falling asleep on the sofa till midday lol.

Woke up, had some lunch. Showered and dressed. Took the pups out for half our, just over the road so they could have a run. Dropped them back and got a few bits in the shop.

Came back and I just spent most of the afternoon watching tv and playing games on my phone.

I bought myself some pies for dinner. I need to eat something half decent tonight. Although I did have just the pie on its own…It’s better then a sandwich lol.

After dinner I made some lil fair cakes 🙂 as the shop didn’t have the cake in that I wanted. You can’t beat home made cakes…such a manly past time 😉

Just been chilling this evening watching tv. I love the idiot box! Going to try and get to bed before 2 am tonight.

Still feeling pretty psyched about last night. Was so nice to be known as a guy and to be really comfortable with that.

Peace out


So proud of myself

Yesterday I had a plan of what I was going to do today…but it didn’t quite fit into my time frame lol.

I was awake before 9 am. I went into the lounge with the pups, let scrappy out on the balcony for a wee. I had breakfast and watched tv. Still felt drowsy, so I got my pillow and blanket and snuggled up on the sofa and fell back to sleep till midday. Urm yeah think I needed that lol.

Felt hungry when I woke up, so I had myself a sandwich. So yummy. I looked around at my place….yup I was gonna have to get off my butt and clean! Gah I hate cleaning so so much lol. Why can’t the fairies do it! But I got off my butt and cleaned up, to be fair, there wasn’t loads to be done. But it just feels like such an effort. But felt better for doing it.

I got a shower, got dressed and took the rubbish out. Managed to do it in one go. I’d empty the cat litter box, so Marley has fresh litter, usually I just scoop out the pee and poop and top it up with fresh litter, but now its just her, I decided to empty it all out and wash it. She’s started to pee on the floor, but I think that’s where batcat was stressing her out. So now he’s gone I am hoping she will stop that. So anyway yeah.. took the rubbish out. Man the weather is yucky out! But least its nice and cool.

I didn’t really want to go out but I had to take the pups out. So got them ready in their little hoddies, so they didn’t get too cold or wet and took them across the road for a little run and wee. They are so cute in their hoodies hehe.

Got back and I watched Maleficent. It was so good! Brilliant film. After the film, I took the pups out again for a little run.

I had a little time to kill, so I ripped a few cds to my laptop, then put them on my phone. Got myself ready and headed out to meet R about gender identity stuff.

Man I felt so nervous, but really as well. I think I was just taken over by adrenaline! I got to the place a bit early (its at the same place I go for the LGBTQ group on a Thursday) It helped that I was in familiar place. R wasn’t there when I got there, but it wasn’t long before he was and we had a little chat about everything. Like what he can offer me, a bit about the group and the counselling etc. I decided to stay for the group, I was feeling pretty hyped up. I am so glad I stayed. It was really great to be there 🙂 so nice to be called he. Everyone was so lovely and so welcoming. The group is on every fortnight. I am definitely going again. So proud of myself.

Got home at 10:30 pm to excited puppies 🙂 hehe, just brilliant to come home too. I’ve just been chilling out, winding down. It’s 1:30 am now. Think after this I’m going to have some cereal, take the pups out and head to bed. For once I’ve already done up my med box, so no need to worry about that tonight.

Got no plans for tomorrow. If its nice I might take the pups for a walk if I feel ok. I’ll probably still be hyped from tonight hehe 🙂

Well better crack on and get myself and the pups to bed

Peace out