Busy boy…again! Also Transgender day of Visibility.

Today is Transgender day of Visibility πŸ™‚ I am an trans guy and proud of it!

I didn’t sleep to well last night, Mr Scrappy had me up about 4-5 times because he needed to go poop, he had a bad stomach but at least he didn’t poop in the bed. So yeah had a pretty disruptive nights sleep.

I had an early start, I was up at 8 am. Had something to eat, had a shower and got dressed. Didn’t have time to take pups for a wee this morning before I went out. Which I hate doing but it’s only fox that needed to go out to pee as scrappy goes on the balcony. Anyway I put them in the hallway with their food, treats and toys.

My bro dropped me and Leo down the council, I needed to do a few bits there and my bro needed my to have Leo for a bit. I changed my title at the council, found out how much my new rent is from April 6th and got a letter for the vets to prove I am in receipt of housing benefits. BOOM! Sorted and lil Leo was mostly good lol, he was a bit grizzly until he had a cuddle.

We went to get the bus back into town and MAN we nearly got blown away, SO windy out it’s so bad, it nearly blew my cap off my head and a few times it nearly had the pushchair over. The first bus that came was full and couldn’t fit another pushchair on, so we had to wait for another one but luckily it wasn’t that long.

Got into town and I needed to nip to asda for a few bits. I got Leo and Jack a Easter present too, I got Jack a chocolate rabbit and I got Leo a top as he’s a bit little for chocolate yet.

I was SO glad when we got in because it was so freaking windy out there. We chilled out on the sofa for a little, had to change his butt and then he decided to poop and it was gross lol, SO stinky. I gave him a bottle and we played for a little bit, I could see he was getting a bit sleepy, so I put his jumper on and snuggled him up in his buggy and he soon fell asleep πŸ™‚ bless him lil cutie.

He was picked up about 1:30 pm, I took the pups out for a quick wee and a run, we weren’t out for long, foxy didn’t look too impressed lol because it was SO windy.

Came home and chilled out, had some lunch and just rested.

Then I finished off scanning and printing my book of Mandala’s πŸ™‚ all 101 of them! eeep, it was worth it though.

I then did some more sorting out changing my title in places and I now don’t have many left I think about 4-5! So yeah I’ve been bang on it! Didn’t stop till about 8 pm.

Just been relaxing this evening, I had cheese, hot cross buns and a pancake for dinner, I’m not really hungry just peckish.

The plan for tomorrow is to clean the flat, spend some time playing with the pups and watching some films πŸ™‚ I need some me time after the last busy few days. I need to rest my aching joints too, the pain has been bad for the last few days. This cold weather isn’t helping much.

Anyway enough of me

Peace out


Busy busy boy!

I’ve been a busy boy today. Got lots done and I’m still busyΒ beavering away. I need to stop really but, I’m really into it lol.

I slept well last night and was wide awake when I woke up πŸ™‚

Went to see my psych this morning, had a pretty good appointment. He’s given me 25mgs of quetiapine to take as and when to help me sleep when I am completely off the 50mgs. He’s just generally happy for me and with how things are going. While I was up there I changed my title πŸ™‚ so well happy with that.

On my way home I went to the bank to change my title there and that went really well πŸ™‚ the lady I spoke to was really nice and I didn’t need any proof as your title is social rather then legal. I only did it through deed poll because I had to drop my middle name.

I got in to my happy puppies πŸ™‚ and I took them across the road for a run about. Dropped then back and nipped to asda for a few bits and ended up treating myself to a dvd! :p

When I got in I spent the afternoon looking up numbers and sorting things out with my name of title. I managed 9 places and everyone was actually really nice and really helpful. I was actually shocked but it was nice πŸ™‚ all of them were woman…maybe it would be different it I spoke to guys I don’t know. But yeah very positive!

While I was doing that I finally booked miss Foxy in to be spayed, so next week she has an app for a check up and then after that I can book her in to be spayed. It really needs to be sorted! So glad its going to be done.

I then spent AGES sorting out getting my scanner to work, so I could do some copies of my deed poll as I need to send some off a few places. I then came up with the bright idea of taking my book of mandala’s apart to scan into the laptop and print off. So that’s what I’ve been doing πŸ™‚ its now 8:30 pm and I’ve not stopped all day! I am writing this in between scanning and printing πŸ™‚

I have my little Leo in the morning, I need to go down to the council to do a few things as well. My head is racing with things I have to do! and want it all done now lol.

So yeah busy busy boy. But I am feeling so great, just so happy πŸ™‚

Peace out


Peace :)

I’m feeling really good, really calm and settled and well just good. It’s a weird feeling and I don’t think I’ve ever had this feeling for any amount of time, so it’s new territory but something I am going to hold on to and just be comfortable with. Also want to share my happiness too by doing good deeds to other which I have been. Like the other day I gave up my seat to an old guy while we were waiting for a bus, I’ve just been doing small things, even just smiling at someone in the street can make someone’s day. I’m all about peace, love and happiness at the moment, being kind doesn’t cost a thing! Anyway just wanted to start with that and to say share the love even if its a small gesture it can really make someone else happy and that will in turn make you feel good too.

I slept well last night, took a while too get off to sleep. Even though I lost an hour because of the clocks going forward I woke up at 8:30 am.

Woke up feeling so achy and the weather outside was MISERABLE! Welcome to the first day of spring…typical lol! I had some hot cross buns and pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast πŸ™‚ it was so yum.

I snuggled up in the sofa with my blanket and my babies and watched tv, had a cheeky nap for an hour too πŸ™‚

I had my lil Leo for a few hours which was nice. He was hard work though really grizzly because he’s teething. But was nice to have him.

Afterwards I got myself showered and dressed, actually put proper clothes on today, jeans and a t-shirt. Waited for the mothership to pick me up. We went into town as she wanted to get a few bits because she’s moving in with her new bf tomorrow. I said to her that I’ve changed my title to Mr….I didn’t get a response…. And the whole time she kept calling me my birth name…I kept correcting her! but fell of deaf ears. But ya know what I know who I am and I’m so happy now and if she can’t see that then whatever this is on her. Not my issue.

She dropped me home and I got in and my puppies where all happy to see me πŸ™‚ I took the across the road for a run and play about for a bit.

Put on a film, Girl Interrupted! Top film! Put my dinner on, did the washing up. I had sausage and mash, only ate the mash though. Didn’t really feel hungry :/ but I needed to eat. I just have no appetite at the moment, not for a meal anyway. I’ve just been picking through out the day.

Just been watching films this evening and chatting to friends on fb. Over all its been a good day πŸ™‚ and I’m feeling good.

I have my psych tomorrow morning, so I am going to make the effort to get an early night. Going to ask that once I am off the quetiapine completely which will be in 25 days that he see me once a month for a few months to make sure I am doing ok, also going to talk about transitioning too, he should have got the letter from my gp about me asking for the referral to the gender clinic. Hopefully that will go well, my appointments always makes me a bit anxious.

That’s it for now.

Peace out


Happy re-birth day to me! :)

I am going to start by saying its a happy re-birth day to me (sounds like something from Alice in Wonderland lol) But I got my deed poll through today so I am now Mr πŸ™‚ this is a big step towards my journey.

Didn’t update yesterday because I felt unwell an just couldn’t be bothered.

Went to bed Thursday night, did my usual routine. I took the pups out for a wee, gave the cat some treats and took my meds.

I didn’t sleep a wink all fucking night!

Still managed to make it out with my friend and the pups. We took the pups down to the beach and had a nice walk. We then walked up the Flirt a cafe and had lunch and just chilled out. It was really nice and the pups enjoyed it. It tired out Scrappy, he fell asleep on my lap the whole bus trip home bless him.

We got home about 4:30 pm. I had some Pepsi and some cereal, then got into bed for 2 hours, just to rest. I don’t think I slept…maybe I was in and out of it.

Just spent the evening sat on the sofa feeling rather crap. But I was chatting to friends so that was nice and helping me to feel a bit better.

Eventually managed to take the pups out for a very quick wee. I went to take my meds…only to discover that Thursday nights meds were still in the med box….So that’s why I didn’t sleep! lol because I didn’t take my meds! I could have SWORN I did though…hmmm. Anyway’s took my meds, did my injection and got into bed with the pups. I watched tv for a little bit. Then fell asleep.

I slept right through last night until 8 am and my hip was killing where I’d woken up in the same position I’d fell asleep in lol, obviously didn’t move an inch all night, so that’s been sore all day today.

I felt better when I woke up, less sick and tired. Had some breakfast and watched some cartoons πŸ™‚ as you do. Snuggled up on the sofa with my babies and fell asleep till gone 1 pm. I definitely needed it πŸ™‚ and the weather is grotty today so didn’t fancy going anywhere.

Tided away bits and bobs and sorted out my paper work. Had a shower and got dressed…that took a while as I didn’t know what to wear lol. Ended up wearing my batman joggy bottoms, something nice and comfortable just to sit about in πŸ™‚

Took the pups across the road to play about for a bit. It was cold and miserable out BOO! I dropped then back and went to the shop and got myself a few nice bits of food πŸ™‚

Chilled out the rest of the day, had a little nap too. Had some dinner and yeah just been chilling out, playing on fb, chatting to friends and that.

Feeling pretty good today, nice and relaxed. I have my nephew tomorrow morning for a bit so that’s cool.

We lose an hour tonight as our clocks go forward. I’m just looking forward to it being lighter later, I love taking the pups out in the evening πŸ™‚

Physically doing ok, just tired still and really achy but that’s nothing new.

I am now a bit worried about completely coming off my meds… as they do help me sleep. As the quetiapine has a sedative effect. Yesterday I went down to 50 mgs so will see how my sleep is on that. But I do want to be off it completely as I shouldn’t really be relying on meds to help me sleep every night! That’s not good… I have my psych Mon so I’ll talk to him about my worries about that.

Β My babies chilling out in Flirt cafe πŸ™‚

Peace out



Been sat staring at this screen for about 20 mins now hoping that some how my fingers will start typing with words that sound good…But I don’t have much to say. Not really sure how I’m feeling. I don’t think I’m depressed nor manic, I just feel ok quite calm. It’s a weird feeling though…maybe I am just tired..I don’t know.

It’s been an average day, slept better last night because the last few nights its taken me a while to get off to sleep.

Had a chilled morning, had breakfast, showered, dressed. Took pups for a wee…..didn’t stay out as long as I wanted because I was in pain with my joints and head. Got the pups settled in the hallway with treats and toys πŸ™‚ and forced myself to go out to group. I was in two minds about going but I pushed myself as I could have easily just stayed in laying on the sofa in my pjs all day.

Group was ok..there was a bit of a confrontation from someone with a strong opinion. But our group facilitator stepped in and helped us sort it out. Not what I needed when my head was killing but it is what it is I suppose.

After group I went to a shop and picked myself up a second hand ps2 controller because I’m sure that’s the reason I can’t play. I was also brave and went into another shop and asked about a shapewear top (its a woman’s thing to squeeze everything in) Thought it was worth a shot. I told this lady straight up what I was looking for and the reason why and she was mega helpful and so nice. So I tried it on and nearly broke my arms off in the process lol! But it didn’t flatten much sadly. But the lady suggested some other places I could go. I’m happy I had a positive experience, I didn’t go into the other shops as that was enough for one day, but proud I did it πŸ™‚

Got home to my happy puppies and ignored them until I cleaned up their mess…pee and poop and fluff from poor Mr penguin lol. Took them across the road for a run and play.

Watched tv for a bit and decided I needed to eat. Didn’t really fancy anything though. So I decided to go to the shop as I needed to get cereal anyway. Ended up being in there for what felt like AGES just wondering aimlessly, I don’t really have an appetite at the moment and not because I can’t be bothered to cook but I just don’t really want anything. I did pick something in the end, I decided to have hot dogs but with proper sausages and not the horrible things out of a tin.

Came home, cooked 2 sausages and ate 1 and a half. Just been sat in front of the laptop since. I am off to bed after this.

Meeting a friend tomorrow to walk the pups…the thought of it makes me feel tired. Maybe I am just feeling apathetic right now..no motivation.


Peace out


Short & sweet just like me ;)

I don’t have much to say today, done the usual really, napped, ate, watched tv.

I sorted out some more stuff and put it online to sell.

Actually sold some stuff and made Β£15 πŸ™‚

Done some laundry. Oh and I cleaned the flat

Hung out outside with the pups, felt so great to be out there with them. Just chilling ❀

Made myself some dinner.

Yeah that’s it really, had a good chilled out day πŸ™‚ glad I made some money.

Going to get an early night, cannot wait to go to group tomorrow. I miss is SO much when it isn’t on or I’m too ill to go. It’s totally my lifeline to the real world.

That’s it man! I’m doing good.

Peace out


Peace, love, happiness <3

I am 19 months self harm free today πŸ™‚ So freaking proud of myself!

My trans group was good last night, got a lot out of it. I got home to my happy puppies, I sorted the mess out they had made, I then took them out for a wee and I was in bed by just gone 11 pm. Put on Despicable me and ended up watching the whole film and playing on my tab. Took me a while to fall asleep, so I did some mindfulness to help me relax enough to fall asleep and it helped.

Slept well last night, not sure what time I woke up but it was before 9 am. I did my usual, had breakfast, watched tv and snuggled up on the sofa with the pups and I ended up falling back to sleep for a bit.

I was up showered, dressed and in town by midday. Went and paid my rent and got some electric. I treated myself to some new Batman stuff that I found πŸ™‚ I was so happy with my find. I got a new Batman top, cup and a Batman double duvet set! SO chuffed with it! I’ve been searching for AGES for a reasonably priced duvet set and I’ve finally found one! YAY!

Got home and put my electric on and sorted out my new bits. I put the new duvet set onto wash to get rid of the plastic smell. I tidied up a bit as well.

Sat down and had some lunch, played on my tab and watched a bit of tv.

Pups had a vets appointment this afternoon, so I got us all ready and we went across the road for a pee before going through town to the bus. Got to the vets a bit early but I don’t mind waiting in there, the staff are all really nice and the pups love being fussed. They both had their flea treatment and foxy had her worming tablet. They both got weighed and foxy is 3.1kgs and scrappy is 5.8kgs, he’s put on weight since last month lol my little fatty. They were both so good being at the vets, not scared or anything. She gave me some advice about foxy’s tooth but for now I am going to leave it be as it isn’t causing her any issues but I do need to get her spayed first.

We got home about 4 pm man I was feeling tired just after that little trip lol. I fully reclined the sofa and AHHH relaxed watching Futurama and The Simpsons for a bit.

Did myself a nice steak dinner with roast potatoes, peas and onion gravy πŸ™‚ NICE!

After dinner I took the pups out to play across the road for half an hour to enjoy to last bit on natural sun light πŸ™‚ It was so nice to be out there, made me feel so happy, relaxed and energised. I can’t wait for the clocks to go forward this weekend.

Not been doing much this evening, just watching tv, on the laptop. Put some bits up to sell on gumtree.

Feeling pretty good today, I did some good deeds as well. I sent my step dad some more money so I hope that helps him a little, I also sent my friend some money to treat herself and her cat to a lil something πŸ™‚ It feels good to be able to help the people I love. I feel great to cutting negative influences out of my life too, I am all about positivity, peace, love etc and that feels so much better then how my life was a few years ago. I’ve come such a long way and I am SO proud of myself.

Anyway that’s enough of me. I am tired and need to get myself to bed.

Tomorrows plan is to clean up the flat in the morning and if its nice and I feel ok I really want to take the pups across the bridge to go for a nice walk πŸ™‚ or I’m gonna take time to chill

Peace out



Up dating early as I have my trans group tonight and may not feel like coming on the laptop later.

I was in bed really early last night because I was SO tired! I got to bed at 10:15 pm, put a film on and played on my tab for a bit. But I think I was asleep by half 10 pm.

My alarm went off at 8 am this morning…GAH! I sat on the sofa for a bit with the pups, had some cereal. I really didn’t want to go to my psych app this morning, I don’t really have anything to say to him and I am doing ok, so I rang up and rearranged my appointment. Just said I felt ill…well I was sort off I was SO tired I needed to snooze some more.

I slept until midday πŸ™‚ Ah I felt SO much better. I got myself up showered and dressed. I took the pups across the road for half an hour for a little run.

Came back and chilled out on the sofa with a can of Pepsi, my two new Lego sets and some crappy afternoon tv πŸ™‚ Perfect. I managed to put both sets together in an hour and 20 mins! Yeah boy!

And now I am on here. I need to take the pups out for a wee again, do myself dinner and then get ready to go to my group.

I’m feeling good today πŸ™‚ just good. Which is a nice feeling.

Feeling less tired now..

That’s it really just a good day, feeling good and self care.

Peace out