Lil catch up, 2 fractured fingers

Ow everything hurts right now, stupid joints and I can’t take any more pain killers for an hour.

Thursday was busy, L and Boo didn’t get up till nearly 11 am. I was just chilling with Harvey watching tv. She went out and got Harvey’s brand new lil puppy for his birthday surprise, it was so sweet he nearly cried bless him. Lil Arnie the pup is well cute, just a lil ball of fluff, he’s just over 8 weeks old and my two were a bit scared of him lol. I’m sure they will be best friends when he starts to get a little bigger.

I took Boo up to the hospital with me to give L and Harvey some chill time. I had my bloods done and then went to see the hand lady an yup I’ve broken my ring finger too… DO’H! So they both have splints on for the next 3 freaking weeks. It’s really difficult to do anything because I’m left handed but I shall work my way around it all.

We all had dinner together because I did gammon in the slow cooker this morning, so I sorted that all out for us πŸ™‚ it was so nice. But I was sat on the floor and had 2 dogs staring at me an a lil puppy trying to get on my plate lol!

I read Boo a book before bed time and I made sure Harvey went to bed a lil earlier so we could have some peace and quiet.

We had a nice chilled evening, I’m not sure what time I finally managed to sleep but I think it was late.

Fri – Everyone was up a bit earlier today, I had been up since about 6 am and I was so tired. By about half 9 am I went to bed for 2 hours, I was just so exhausted and achy I really needed it.

L and Harvey helped to clean up the flat a bit before they got ready to go home, I would have gone too and helped to settle the pup in but I had an app at 4 pm with my GP.

I cleaned up the rest of the flat, had a shower and got dressed, took the pups for a wee and headed out to my docs app.

My docs app was good, he weighed my, measured me, measured my waist asked me lots of questions about me and family medical history. I gave him the details of the guy who runs the trans group I attend so if he has any questions about the form he’s filling in then R can help him.

I was exhausted when I got in, everything from head to toe hurt so so much πŸ˜₯ so I had a nap for a few hours, it was much needed.

I did nip to the shop to get a few bits and bobs, at 9 pm I took the pups out and I was out for about 45 mins with them. I went straight to bed when I got in I felt so awful, but it took ages to get some sleep, well it felt like ages but I’m not sure it was lol.

Today has been a very bad pain day 😦 all day and still now I’ve been in so much pain. So I decided to stay in all day and man it was a bit boring. I couldn’t settle on any one thing, I was up an down and all over the place because I was in so much pain.

This evening I did finally sit down to play Lego Batman 3 for 3 hours and I’ve relaxed this evening, everything still really hurts.

I’ve been trying to move my fingers a bit tonight but they are so sore and so painful but I’ll keep trying every day like I’m meant too.

Gone midnight now, I’m heading to bed after I post this.

My fractured fingers

Peace out


Maybe a broken knuckle…DO’H

So I was so tired yesterday when I finally got in, I just went straight to bed.

Yesterday was funny, I met up with everyone from the Mindout group for a social, we sat down at the beach and then went for a walk and a few of us went on a big bouncy castle thing lol, it was so funny πŸ™‚ and I got a friction burn on my elbow because I was trying to be super careful of my my finger. It was bloody tiring though jeez only lasted about 4 mins haha.

After the social I just had time to get home brush my teeth and pop up to the dentist to have my filling done and I was a really brave boy and didn’t make a fuss. I hate the feeling after when half my face felt all weird and my nose was so numb it felt like I couldn’t breathe and it took AGES to wear off too like 4 hours.

On my way home I popped in to see my friend at the shop to see her new baby. But I ended up staying there till 9 pm, I fed him twice, burped him and had lots of cuddles πŸ™‚ he’s beautiful so tiny with loads of hair still. They’re all doing really well, it’s so sweet to see, so pleased for them. I’m going to get him a batman sleep suit or something hehe.

After I took the pups out and we bumped into their friend Loki so I ended up chatting for an hour, so when I got in I was so tired and we went straight to bed and just chilled out for a bit.

Again this morning I was up at half 7 am, so I had breakfast and cracked on with cleaning the flat and taking the dogs for a wee.

My bro dropped over Leo while he went out an did a few bits. I was trying to feed Leo but he wasn’t having any of it lol. When my bro came back we put Leo in my little paddling pool that I’d put up for when Albert and Harvey came round and I’d filled it with hot water so it would stay warm. Leo loved the pool splashing about lol, so sweet πŸ™‚

L and the boys came round and she got me some lunch. L had cuddles with Leo πŸ™‚ My bro left to take Leo to see some friends of the family.

We all chilled out this afternoon, the boys were in and out of the pool, Albert more then Harvey.

I think my knuckle on my ring finger is broken as it’s mega swollen and bruised, it looks just like the little finger just on the knuckle… I see the hand therapist tomorrow so I’ll get her to look at my x-rays again. I can’t move either of them :/ It doesn’t look good lol.

Late afternoon we took the pups across the road so them and the boys could have a run about and some fresh air.

I made pizza with Harvey for dinner just on pita bread he had fun bless him and he ate it all.

Boo had a bath and put him to bed first because he was getting grumpy. Harvey stayed up a bit later.

L and I watched a film…well started too until her meds kicked in an she needed to go to bed lol.

I’ve just been sat here chilling, but I’m off to bed after this.

I’m not going to group tomorrow as I’ve got the hospital, I need my bloods done and my appointment for my finger…joys! lol.

Over all I’m still doing really well πŸ™‚ and my health isn’t doing too bad… apart from the bones breaking lol!

Peace out


Dog show and another fractured finger

I keep waking up really early every morning around 5-6 am, it’s so annoying. But I managed to get back to sleep until gone 9 am I think this morning.

This afternoon I took the pups to their dog show and I met up with L and the boys. They only did one category each, foxy was in fancy dress and scrappy was in the puppy pedigree. Neither won anything but it was a really good afternoon with all the cute dogs everywhere.

After the dog show we went down to the park so the pups and the boys could have a run about. I had a race with Harvey and I tripped over scrappy and landed on my hand, I bent 3 fingers right back and man it was SO painful and they all swelled right up…DO’H. I didn’t think I’d done anything right at that moment but it wasn’t long till I knew I’d fractured it again.

I took the pups home, peed and had something to eat and went up to the hospital and I wasn’t waiting about long which was good. And its exactly the same fracture as last time just the other hand lol. So it’s strapped up and I have to see the hand therapist again.

Just been chilling this evening, I’m so tired now but it’s been a really good day. My fingers are so painful!

Off to bed soon, just got to do my med box up for the week.


Peace out


Super Sunday

Ah it’s been a good Sunday, I woke up early but I had some breakfast and went back to bed until midday lol.

I felt all the walking we did yesterday, my leg muscles were so sore. I think it was walking over all the rocks and stones that did it.

Even though I woke up at midday I did manage to make the most of my day.

I had to nip to the shop as I needed more apple juice and a few other bits to get my through the week. I had myself some lunch, watched a bit of tv and played on my tab.

Got myself and the pups ready to go out and we headed out over the bridge to Hamworthy park. I don’t think I’ve taken Scrappy over there before, well at least I can’t remember. He went really weird walking over the bridge lol, I think it was because it made a noise at he was walking, he could hear his footsteps. He walked really slowly and close to the floor, it was so funny to watch.

We had fun at the park and spent about and hour there just walking about. I found a jellyfish that had washed up but it was still blue which meant it was alive so I used my foot to push it back in, the sea kept bringing it back it. But I hope it went back safely.

I had a nice time walking with the pups and talking to other dog owners, I love being out by the sea so so much ❀

Think we got back at just after 5 pm and I sat down for a little bit. But I still wasn’t ready to just sit down, so I put on some music and did some cleaning, put some laundry on, gave foxy a wash because she was a bit stinky, had dinner and sat down to sort out all my bills and stuff on my calender.

Feels good to have had such a productive day and that I have things sorted out and I know what bills are coming out and when etc. I feel a bit more in control of my life at the moment and that’s a good feeling to have.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow, the pups are going into a dog show. Not a serious dog show, just something for fun and I’m really looking forward to it. Should be a good laugh πŸ™‚ and I’m sure the pups will have fun too.

I better get us all to bed soon so we are all fresh and ready for tomorrow afternoon.

Peace out


Happy, peaceful boy

I am currently watching the Eurovision song contest, they are just reading out the points πŸ™‚ A pretty good end to a really awesome day. I’m so tired and the pups have been asleep pretty much since the moment we got in the flopped onto the sofa lol.

Woke up early again this morning, had some breakfast and watched tv. My bro text me and we sorted out going out for the day, so I got myself and the pups ready so we could go meet them.

We headed out to Lyme Regis and to a beach where the dogs are allowed on the play. It’s such a nice beach, not a sandy though but I like looking at all the stones and rocks. Lil Leo put his lil feet in the sea for a dip πŸ™‚ as did me and my bro and scrappy went for a swim. I loved just sitting listening to the sea, watching the pups play, looking at the rocks, ah just to be a peace with everything, nothing else mattered while I was sat by the water. I could have stayed there forever.

We had a drive into Charmouth and sat in the car while the pups ran about in the car park…well it was a big field with loads of space. Me and my bro went for a lil wander had a look at the beach and some shops. It’s such a beautiful place πŸ™‚

Sadly like all good things we did have to head back home, not before we went around in a big circle going down all the small roads just for a look. Got home about 6:30 pm and I just flopped on the sofa with the pups, man we are so tired now. But it’s been a really great day, I’m so blessed to have and amazing brother ❀ sister in law and nephews ❀

Just been relaxing this evening, watching tv, catching up online. I did have some dinner tonight and some mango after which was nice. I gave scrappy a bath as he was covered in sand and stuff! now he’s all fluffy and smells lovely hehe, bless my lil man. Him and foxy are currently all snuggled up together, it’s so so sweet.

After the Eurovision results I will be heading to bed with my beautiful fur babies.

I’m feeling so good, so tired but really happy and peaceful ❀ may it continue ❀

Some pictures from today

Peace out


Another small step

Woohoo! πŸ™‚ Had some fab news today, so I’m feeling pretty good.

I had a bit of a slow start this morning and woke up at 10 am and considering I spent most of yesterday asleep I was surprised I woke up at that time, but I suppose I needed it.

I eventually got my butt out and went and got my haircut and now I’m looking like a real smart boy πŸ™‚

Got in, cleaned up a bit, had a shower. Chilled out a bit and had some lunch, caught up with online stuff.

I had a phone call from my GP and well the short story is that he’s booked me in to see him next week as he needs to do a full health check on me and I need a bunch of blood tests done before he can send my form off to the gender clinic πŸ™‚ so EEEEEK! so exciting! It’s another little step closer to where I want to be.

Because I’d spent all yesterday sleeping I felt bad for the pups so I took them out for a nice walk so they could let off some energy. Scrappy went for a swim and just generally being all crazy lol! Racing about like a crazy thing and foxy was flirting with other dogs lol. It was just really nice to be out enjoying the dogs and just being out.

Got home and chilled out for a bit and I felt like going to sleep lol, I think it was all the fresh sea air, the pups were tired too and flopped onto the sofa with me for a little bit. Had some dinner and got me and the pups ready to go out to go over to my brother’s place for the evening.

Had a good evening with my bro, his GF K and lil Leo. We played some good old 80’s games lol! connect 4, guess who and a pac man board game…which was pretty boring haha but it was funny. It was just a good evening πŸ™‚

I did my metoject injection in the top of my thigh this evening and now I’ve lost weight it’s so much easier to pinch my skin to inject into. Still freaking hurts though lol!

Oooh so my friend has taken her cat and kittens to the vets and the one that I am having is definitely a girl πŸ™‚ YAY! I’m so excited to get her! woohoo!

No solid plans tomorrow as of yet, I may see my bro and hang out or something. Whatever happens I’m going to try and make the most of it πŸ™‚

New haircut, I’m a handsome boy πŸ˜‰ lol

Peace out


I’m back!

So I have a week to catch up with, wow now I have to remember lol.

Last Thursday at group we did a session on ADHD which was really great, I felt like the penny had dropped. I really think that I have the wrong diagnosis…so I am going to gather more information to take to my psych.

Fri – I just slept for most of it, chilling out watching tv. I spent the evening over at my brothers house which was cool.

Sat – I spent the day with my friend J-C We went out with the pups to see the Mini steam fair and walked the pups down my usual route. It was such a lovely day and I got quite burnt…again lol!

In the evening I met up with a friend and her friends as it was her bday, so we went for dinner at Nando’s. I didn’t eat much and I’m glad I didn’t because I had sun stroke and felt sick on the way home.. But it was really nice to see her and the other guys πŸ™‚

Sun – I spent recovering from sun stroke…which sucked! But I did clean up a bit and get some bits sorted. So not an entirely wasted day.

Mon – I did nothing much but I did go to my trans group in the evening which I really enjoyed πŸ™‚Β I just spent time playing with all my babies in the day.

Tues – I hung out with my friend in the day time. I’ve not seen her for ages, so it was really nice to see her and boo boo πŸ™‚Β In the evening I did a list of everything I needed to do and I did my food shopping, I got some nice healthy stuff too πŸ™‚

Wed – I was up mega early, I couldn’t really sleep. So I did all my cleaning and then some lol! I washed the balcony windows inside and out. I did rest for a little, I sorted out stuff that needed posting, posted it, went to the pet shop and got the pups some decent food, more natural without loads of cereal in it. I got in and crashed out as I physically couldn’t go on, so I slept for a few hours. I can’t remember what happened in the afternoon after I slept…But in the evening straight after I took my meds, I threw them ALL back up 😦 so I just took the queitapine again, a fresh one I may add lol not the one I just threw up lol! I took the pups for a wee and went to bed.

Today has been pants! I’ve spent most of my day fast asleep. I think I woke up about 8 am, snuggled on the sofa with the pups and fell asleep for a bit. I still didn’t feel so good I think it was a migraine. I did try to eat a bit, took some meds and I did try and get ready for group as I really wanted to go. But it just wasn’t happening 😦 so I ended up going to bed at 12pm and didn’t wake up again till gone 4 pm. I didn’t think I was going to sleep that long lol, just relaxed in bed for a bit. Had some cereal as I wasn’t really hungry. My head is feeling a bit better now, I’m still feeling tired. I just think I wayyyy over did it yesterday and used ALL my spoons by lunch time lol!

So this last week, wow. It’s been good for the most part πŸ™‚

My head has been SO busy though but I’ve been writing lists so I make sure everything gets done. That’s been really helpful for me and I still have a few bits to do but all the important jobs have been done.

Mentally I’ve been doing ok but I think I’ve been experiencing some sort of disassociation as I keep losing time, not track of time, just time. For example I can be sitting on the sofa at 5 pm and the next time I look at the clock it’s 7 pm and I cannot account for those 2 hours. But I’m still sat on the sofa and I’ve not been asleep, it’s so weird and I can’t really describe it. I’ve had this before and it’s frustrating. But other then that I’ve been doing okΒ πŸ™‚

No plans for tomorrow yet, although I really need my haircut so I may sort that out.

I think that’s all nothing much else to say, both the pups are doing really well, they had the vets on Tues for a check up and scrappy is now 6kg! the lil fatty lol. They are both going in a dog show on Mon, nothing serious just one that a local cafe is putting on, so should be good for a laugh πŸ™‚Β I’m going to put foxy in her rainbow top and scrappy is going to be wearing a tie hehe. I hope they win somethingΒ πŸ™‚

Well that’s it for now, I’m going to try and write more regularly again.

Peace out


Busy, happy boy :)

Wow the last 2 days have been so busy but they’ve been really good! My mood has picked up as has my motivation and over all I just feel a bit better πŸ™‚

Yesterday I had my meeting for the voluntary job in which I was given a ton of paper work…. and I have got another appointment to do my DBS form, I asked her to fill it on for me other wise it will take me hours lol. But I am glad to have a new voluntary job, I feel important and have some sort of focus and purpose now.

I spent the afternoon with a friend, we had lunch and just hung out and chatted about stuff which was nice and she’s coming to stay with me this weekend, so looking forward to that.

I didn’t get home till about 7pm-ish, I had something to eat and drink and then I took the pups out down to the quay for a walk as it was biker night. Every Tues night bikers meet up on the quay. Foxy barks at the bikes lol its so funny, scrappy wasn’t even phased even though he’d never been to biker night before. We ended up being out for hours and we walked loads but it was really nice and I got some great pictures. Although it was really painful on my joints and I did sit down a few times it was so worth it, both the dogs and I needed it.

We got home at 9:30 pm and watched some TV for a bit, I was in bed by 10:30 pm just relaxing and it didn’t take long before we were all asleep.

For some reason I was up early again… But I did manage to get back to sleep for an hour or so. I just spent half the day messing about with the dogs, watching tv, I think I did have a nap, watching stuff on YouTube..

Eventually I got my butt up and started cleaning up the flat and I decided that the fridge and freezer needed sorting out and ended up defrosting the freezer, which took AGES! but it was fun chipping off the ice and making a mess lol. I did my usual bits, laundry, dishes etc.

I was chatting to some friends too through text and that, which was cool. One friend I’d not heard from a while text me I think yesterday, so that opened up the dialogue πŸ™‚ Even though I haven’t actually seen anyone today, I haven’t been entirely isolated because people have been talking to me. This last week I have been less isolated, which has helped to pick up my mood.

After cleaning up, I had a shower and got dressed. After sorting through my food…well there wasn’t much in there lol and I’m going to start eating better, so I sat and did a shopping list and went to get it all. I put it all away and gave all the animals a treat.

Everything was aching so I sat down for a bit and just watched some tv. For dinner I made myself a ham and veg risotto, something I’ve not made in a long time but it was so yummy and got LOADS left over for another dinner. I’m going to try and eat a little better but I’m not going to stress to much over it….well that’s the plan lol! As a kid growing up at dinner time you sat down to eat a meal and I think now I still try and do that even though my appetite is totally different as an adult then when I was a kid. Now I graze and eat little and often and I don’t like to eat big meals and I need to get that into my head, that it’s ok to have a small meal or just whatever. I no longer need to eat a proper meal like I did as a kid. I’m hoping this will cause me less stress around food and eating.

I had a stack of paper work just making a mess everywhere and it really needed sorting through. I finally got round to it tonight! Woohoo lol, it’s taken me ages to do. But now I’m motivated what better time, so now it’s all done and some bits thrown away, some bits put away and a few bits filled out and ready to post tomorrow.

And then I came online. I wasn’t going to write much because I need to go to bed but I started to type and it all came tumbling out lol. Man I feel so good, this week has been great so far. My mood and motivation is UP and with dealing with the cleaning, paper work etc has also contributed to me feeling good πŸ™‚ I hope this continues.

The only thing I’m not liking at the moment is having dreams about being a genetic guy… but waking up and not being a genetic guy really sucks. I wish they would stop, well the dreams are cool but the waking up to reality isn’t. But whatever…stupid brain lol.

A few pictures

Peace out


A lil bit more motivated

I’ll start by saying my anger and anxiety over the elections has lessened now. But it’s got me wanting to be much more involved with it all, so I am going to look into how I go about doing something to help create change.

I do have some good news though πŸ™‚ my motivation is back! well it’s better then it was. So I’ve actually had a really good weekend and I didn’t spend it all at home.

Yesterday I had a chilled morning, as I’m always a bit drowsy the day after my metoject. But I was up and out with the pups by 1 pm. We walked down to the quay where there was a boat show, there were massive ships that looked like pirate ships, so cool! It was really busy and hotter then it looked. I met up with my bro his gf and baby Leo for a bit, we sat and had lunch down by where we scattered dad. That was nice to be down there altogether in a special, beautiful place, while watching the pups play and scrappy went for a swim. They left to meet and friend and I carried on walking with the pups around our usual route and that was fun. It was busy because of the boat show and the nice weather. We didn’t get back till 5 pm and I had a red face, neck, ears and arms lol!

I hung out with some friends in the evening which was alright, kinda shouldn’t have gone because half way back on the bus I felt ROUGH as…I think it was heat/sun stroke. I felt so sick and everything hurt. I didn’t get home late late so I led on the sofa with my puppies because urgh I felt awful and I sipped on some water too. I felt a little bit better after a rest and was able to take the pups for a pee and get us all to bed.

Slept really well last night, not surprisingly after all the walking and that I did yesterday. I spent this morning until about 1 pm just relaxing and sleeping πŸ™‚

I did eventually get my butt up and I did clean up the flat a little bit, I’m going to start doing what I did before I lost my motivation and that was cleaning every other day. So that made me feel good for getting that done. I got showered and that and I nipped down to the shop as I needed a few bits and bobs.

Had some lunch, did some laundry, played on my tab, watched some Daredevil on netflix and it’s not that bad. Just pottered about the flat sorting out different things around the place.

Spent an hour across the road with the pups, having a play about πŸ™‚ that was nice just watching them play.

Spent this evening relaxing and the time had completely run away with me today!

Not doing much tomorrow, just got a few bits of paper work to sort out and I have my trans group in the evening, so looking forward to that πŸ™‚

My mood has picked up a bit this weekend, I’m feeling less down and agitated and I am hoping I will be able to maintain this.

Some pictures of my weekend

Peace out



So today I woke up to a complete nightmare, the Tories remain in power and the poor, ill, disabled are all screwed and you will see the rise of suicide rates over the next five years, there will be cuts to every service I use, I need in order to live. I am very scared for my future. This is the worst it could have gone and it is now a reality, we are fucked. Well done England you have just doomed the poor, ill, disabled, gay and transgeder people. Well fucking done you posh twats!

As you can see I am very passionate and agitated about this situation because it will have a direct effect on my life as it is now, I need to push to get my funding for my transition…I fear if I don’t it might not happen. This hasn’t helped to my already agitated state, I need to do more mindfulness, I need to relax and move forward. I’m going to explore my spiritual side more, I want to connect with the world, nature, people and my inner true self.

Group was good today and I am glad to have the opportunity to give back to others πŸ™‚

Didn’t get home till about 6 pm to my happy puppies, just spent it relaxing and still just reeling from the shock of the election.

Haven’t go any plans for the weekend, I don’t really have any money to do much. I do know I need to rest a little tomorrow as I feel tired and I’ve not been sleeping well recently.

Anyway I gotta do my injection, relax, take pups out and get myself to bed and I’m hoping by doing a lil mindfulness will help me get a more restful nights sleep and not like it has been recently, with waking up all hours of the night, not being able to sleep right away…etc.

Ooh the bib I ordered my nephew came today πŸ™‚ it says, keep calm my uncle is batman πŸ˜€ LOVE IT!

Peace out