Feeling recharged

I’ve had another nice relaxing day 🙂 and I feel totally recharged, it was something I totally needed it.

I started colouring in one of my pictures last night from my new Animorphia book and wow I love it, it’s so so cool! 🙂 entering this in the competition on the fb group again.

I slept well again last night, woke up had some breakfast and chilled for a bit and then went back to sleep until 1 pm lol! But I totally needed the sleep, I knew my sleep would get back on track again.

Had a shower, covered myself in deep heat, got dressed and took the pups out for a bit.

This afternoon I booked my ticket for London 😀 eeeeeek! I am so freaking excited but I did it while I had enough money to do it, so I don’t need to worry about it.

Spent a few hours colouring in more of my fish picture in my new book and wow I so love it so so much 😀 Can’t stop looking at it lol.

Thought I would write a quick update before I gotta get ready to go out, to the trans* group social.

But I am feeling good, definitely needed this time out to myself. Looking forward to seeing everyone tonight 🙂

 My picture so far 🙂

Peace out


Chill day

I am feeling nice and relaxed and for once not in absolute agony!

I’ve had a really nice day to myself, which I so needed. Can’t remember when the last time I had the whole day to myself was.

Took some time to catch up on sleep, which was so needed and I actually feel like I’ve slept as well.

Chilled out playing with the pups, watching tv. Went to the shop and got a few bits. Took the pups for a wee.

I bought myself some deep heat to help loosen up the muscles in my arm, because the muscles are really tight and I really need to get my arm moving more. I used it on my hips, lower back and legs because my muscles are really tight due to my metoject injection. OMG I am in LOVE with the deep heat, like totally and utterly! My arm feels a bit better and my legs feel sooooo much better too! Much less tight and painful for the first time in months and I really love the feeling of the cream too, I can see myself becoming obsessed with it lol.

Just been relaxing all afternoon watching Friends, putting Lego together and just chilling. Made myself spaghetti bolognese for dinner, which was a bit tricky to cook with my bad arm but I managed ok.

After dinner I had a shower and covered myself in deep heat, which felt so so good and I took the pups out for a walk, as they needed to get out for a bit, as did I.

Just been relaxing this evening, I am feeling so much better then I have been. Much less irritable and agitated and more calm.

No plans for from tomorrow, so may just relax again.

That’s it for now really,

Peace out


Gender clinic letter! woohoo!

Only 10 pm and I am totally ready for bed already lol, I am just SO rock and roll on a Saturday night :p after I’ve written this I may do some colouring, depending on how I feel, because right now I am tired and really achy…..but that’s nothing new lol.

So I’ll catch up a bit,

Fri – Well I didn’t get to sleep until nearly 3 am but I woke up at 9:30 am, just had a wee, had breakfast and watched a bit of TV before going back to bed from 11 am -1 pm lol, I totally needed it though.

I cleaned the flat, I managed to do it by myself. Although I totally overdid it and my arm killed so so much. But I felt better for the flat being clean.

Got a letter from the gender clinic Charing Cross 😀 EEEEEK! They got my referral and they have offered me a place to do a workshop there which is cool and not far off either. The waiting list is 13 months, I am so freaking excited! WOOHOO!

H came over for a bit before her app, I didn’t get showered and dressed until she left and after I took the pups across the road for a run and met H there after her app. Dropped the pups home and went to the shop, I treated myself to a Batman birthday cake! 🙂 I’ve been feeling so crappy and in pain that I fucking well deserve CAKE!

We both chilled out, had takeaway for dinner again 🙂 but we both totally deserve it after all we’ve been through this year. We watched a film too which was cool.

H left after the film and I walked a bit of the way with her to take the pups for a wee.

Chilled out for a bit and tried to write but I couldn’t concentrate so I just took my meds, did my injection and went to sleep and I had a good sleep just under 12 hours lol!

So back to this rocking Saturday, I woke up at 11 am! I almost never sleep that long any more without waking up a billion times in between. Think this is my first really decent nights sleep since starting the lowered dose of quetiapine. I did feel better for it energy wise but pain wise it didn’t make any difference.

Chilled out watching friends for a bit, then got my butt into gear and had a shower, got dressed and took the pups to meet L and the boys.

We all went to Baiter park and played about in the tree’s lol 🙂 we weren’t there long but it was really fun.

Came back to mine for a bit, I took Harvey out for an hour and I took him to the comic shop but it was shut, so I treated him to some toys instead and I got boo some cars, I got L some Vindaloo and yoghurt chocolate. Love treating them all 🙂

I treated us all to a pizza hut for dinner 😀 it was so yum and we all enjoyed it. Had some cake after too. YUM so glad my appetite is good at the moment.

After L and the boys left I just watched tv for a bit and filled out some forms for the gender clinic and written stuff on my calender for September 🙂 So I know what bills are coming out when and what I’m meant to be doing when so I don’t forget.

Just been relaxing this evening, well trying too. I can’t seem to get comfortable at all, my legs and back are really sore, along with the rest of my body. I can’t wait to jump into bed and sleep, also can’t wait to spend tomorrow just by myself. I so need a day to myself just to chill and do nothing.

Physically I feel like shit everything really hurts and I don’t seem to be getting any relief at all from my tramadol, which is really fucking shitty! If this carries on into next week then I will book in to see my GP cuz I can’t cope with this much longer.

Mentally I’m ok just drained by everything, but my letter from the gender clinic did lift my mood quite a bit. Still struggling with everything but I think that’s normal with everything I am dealing with right now.

Some pictures from the last few days

 Meeee, look at those bruised legs lol

 me and my Mr Scrappy doodles

 Bruised elbow near the fracture

 Swollen painful hand

 Mr Doodles 🙂

 My gorgeous Foxy girl

 Happy Foxy girl

 Cats playing with their new toy 🙂

 Found a Harvey in the tree lol

 Boys playing

 Foxy girl didn’t want to play lol bless her. It was cold and raining.

Peace out


Fracture clinic day!

Fracture clinic day finally came! and I am so so glad that I didn’t get a cast. The doc said I got to start trying to move my arm, which I have been doing all day. It hurts but I need to get it moving so it doesn’t stiffen up. I have another appointment at the fracture clinic next week, where they are going to x-ray my hand again to check for a fracture, if there isn’t one but my hand still hurts then they will scan it and just go from there, but still got to keep it in the wrist splint until then. So fairly happy with the outcome of that appointment.

I slept most of this morning, until I had to go to my appointment.

My pain has been bad again today, my lower back, hips and legs have been so so sore. Been really tired as well today but I’ve eaten well again today which is good. Just feeling a bit dragged down with everything at the moment. Just pushing through..

Spent the afternoon/evening with my best friend, took the pups for a lil walk and we went out for dinner and watched a film 🙂 it was really nice.

Now it’s nearly 1 am and I am really tired and I really hurt. I’m feeling really shit too, keep worrying about my future regarding my health… I mean this isn’t my first fracture this year, my pain overall has got worse this year…I’m worried that things are only going to go down hill from now..Just scared about my future and my quality of life. I’m worried about eventually not being able to live alone sooner in my life rather then later on…trying not to worry about it but it’s hard not too. Just feeling vulnerable and emotional at the moment I guess and a bit down with everything.

 Lol found this in the sale 😀

 Foxy’s new raincoat

 Scrappy enjoying his antler

 My gorgeous girl

 Found this in the sale for my gorgeous foxy girl

🙂 I love my babies so so much

Peace out


Coping with everything

Today is nearly over and I am a step closer to my fracture clinic appointment. I’m feeling tired again tonight but I’m feeling good.

Not done much today, the weather for most of today has been rain! rain and oh more rain! So most of today I’ve spent in pjs on the sofa, watching friends and napping.

My appetite has been good today for some reason but I’ve eaten loads today which is really good.

I managed to spend some time out with the pups once the rain had stopped.

My best friend came over late afternoon 🙂 it was so so nice to see her, I’ve not seen her for 3 months. We had pizza hut, watched a film and caught up. It was so good 🙂 I was getting so bored so appreciated her company.

Been feeling a bit better today, slowly catching up on sleep.

Peace out


A better day, feeling grateful

Ah I am so tired right now but my pain levels are much much easier to deal with but I think that is because I am just getting used to it now. The swelling has gone down a bit and the bruising has come out, I just can’t wait till the fracture clinic Thursday.

Despite everything, today has been really productive. I sorted out getting a new bus pass sent to me. The pet shop I get the animals food from were able to drop my order of their food to me this evening which was amazing and just so so helpful!

This morning I managed to clean up the flat as much as I could. L and the boys came over in the afternoon, we chilled out for a bit and had some lunch then L and Harvey helped me do the bits I couldn’t which was great and I am so grateful of the help.

We went into town so I could pay my rent and get electric, I also got myself 2 pairs of jogging bottoms because they are easier to get on then jeans lol! because I can’t do my belts up.

I treated myself and the animals to some bits on amazon last night because I felt so shit I think I deserved a treat.

I didn’t end up going to the group social as the location was changed to a pub, it’s quite a small pub and I didn’t want to go just in case anyone bumped into me. It will be much better if/when they cast my arm. I really hope they do! Any wrong movement or small bump really fucking hurts! So yeah missing group all this week 😦 gutted!

Overall I’ve had a good day 🙂 despite my broken bones lol! I’m grateful to have such amazing friends.

Tomorrow I am just going to rest all day! I think I need it. My energy levels have just been zapped, all used up by being in so much pain. Slept ok last night, I’ve found the perfect sleeping solution, all propped up with pillows and blankets lol but it works so can’t knock it.

So I’m off to bed after this to relax and sleep.

This has taken so so long to write one handed lol.

Peace out


Broken bones again

So I’m in absolute agony, Fri I fell and fractured my arm and thumb.

Right now I am only in a wrist splint and sling, which I am struggling to use as it hurts my neck. I have the fracture clinic on Thursday and I may have to have a full arm cast… :/ Which will be difficult but hopefully will help with the pain.

I can’t do anything, Lego, colouring, ps3, nothing! 😥 can just about type. This is taking ages to do but I need to write.

Urgh I feel so so shit, really struggling with the pain! and the docs can’t give me anything because of what I’m already on. Which is bullshit.

L is coming to help me do a few bits tomorrow, thankfully.

I also lost my bus pass today, so I am hoping my O.T can help me sort out getting a new one.

Got group social tomorrow, so I’ve emailed M to beg for a lift there and back. I can’t go to group Thursday because I’ve got the hospital. So hopefully she can, because I need to get out.

That’s all I can manage for now, I’ll try write more tomorrow.

Peace out


A little blue

I am at my brothers right now, looking after my little nephew. Not long put the lil monkey to bed, he’s sound asleep.

My mood isn’t much better today, still feeling a bit down, a bit flat but it’s not too bad, I can deal with it. Still just trying to let myself feel it, deal with it rather then instantly distracting myself from it. Because that’s not always helpful.

The weather is really crappy today so I’ve been able to wear trousers and my hoodie 🙂 yay! made me feel comfortable with my body. Which I’ve not really felt since the summer started, I’m so glad we are heading towards the cooler weather again.

I slept ok-ish last night, I did wake up for about half an hour at about 4 am, I ended up just getting up for a bit and went straight back to sleep until my alarm went off and rudely woke me again at 7:30 am which by then I did NOT want to get up and I wanted to stay asleep….typical lol.

I was up at the hospital just before 9 am, I found where I was meant to be going ok too. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long, a nurse did my weight, height and blood pressure before I went in to meet my new doctor. I was a bit anxious about it but it went ok, it was a lady doctor and she was really lovely. On my notes it does say I am male, but she asked me if it was Miss or Mr so I said genetically I am a Miss but I prefer Mr because I’m trans* and she was like ok cool, so that was pretty awesome. We talked about my condition, how it effects me, how it started, my symptoms etc, just my whole history up until now. She’s agreed that for now I can slowly come off the steroids, which is cool. I start by taking them every other day and see how I go, if I have a flare up then she will look at putting me on something else. I see her in two months time 🙂 so yeah I am pretty happy with that outcome.

I had a nap mid morning, after I’d taken the dogs out for a quick wee. I definitely needed that lil sleep, I was out for an hour and a half and I felt refreshed.

This afternoon I had a health check up with the nurse at the doctors, she did my weight, height and blood pressure. Got her to do me a prescription of a few bits I needed, we had a good chat about things too. I asked her if I absolutely have to have my smear test, which I am due to have in March and I explained my situation to her and she said they will send me a letter asking me to book an appointment when its due and all I need to do is ring them up and explain my situation and I may have to sign like a disclaimer or something but I may not. So yeah that’s good. I checked with reception if my forms had been sent to the gender clinic and they definitely have which is cool! and she’s going to see what’s going on about the pain clinic…again! I got referred in January, they sent me forms which I sent back but I’ve just not heard back since, which is so annoying!

I managed to sit down for about 10 mins before I was off out again.

I’ve been at my brothers since half 4 pm. Little Leo has been fed, had play time, had a bath, had a bottle and is now fast asleep. He’s such an easy baby to look after. It’s Jack Jack’s 6th birthday tomorrow, 6! I can’t believe where the times gone. So I’m seeing him on Fri to give him his presents.

Got group tomorrow and I am taking about 20mins of it…EEEP! I have a rough idea of what I am going to do, but I need to plan it a little bit more, so I need to do that in a min. Bit nervous about it, I hope people behave and I hope it will be helpful to them. We are doing about managing emotions and I will be doing a bit about how to be mindful of emotions and I will be doing a mindfulness exercise.

Well I better get my butt into gear and start planning my lil piece for tomorrow.

Peace out


Some pictures of the past 2 weeks

IMAG7371 IMAG7376 IMAG7379  Cool Lego


IMAG7386 IMAG7388 Me and my gorgeous babies

IMAG7399Chilling in bed with my furkids

IMAG7400 My new shower stool, so helpful, love it.

IMAG7402 Snuggles with Harley

IMAG7417 IMAG7420 More cool Lego 🙂

IMAG7430 Foxy and Scrappy having snuggles

IMAG7435 Happy foxy girl in bed 🙂

IMAG7442New Adventure time t-shirt, totally rocking it!

IMAG7450 L and the boys at the beach in Hamworthy

IMAG7452 IMAG7454 My pups love the beach

IMAG7456 My sand castles (before scrappy knocked them all down lol)

IMAG7460 Albert chowing down on his dinner

IMAG7463 Arnie keeping warm after a bath in foxy’s hoodie, he’s so cute

IMAG7469 My very tired baby girl

IMAG7473 Ablert in my shoes lol

IMAG7482 Messy boys had fun painting

IMAG7491 IMAG7495 Boys enjoying their roast that I cooked us all

IMAG7537 Rocking my new hoodie 🙂 feeling pretty fly

IMAG7543 Someone got tired so hitched a ride in my backpack lol

IMAG7552 IMAG7554 IMAG7555  Some mandala’s I’ve doneIMAG7556 My babies being too cute

IMAG7560 Cool Lego Robot! Also made into a car and space shuttle

IMAG7575 Me with my new walking stick


IMAG7607 Penguins 🙂

IMAG7613 Loved this dude!

IMAG7616 Harvey looking at the turtles

IMAG7621 So beautiful

IMAG7624 The best picture I could get of them both lol 🙂

IMAG7634 Boo telling me all about the sharks above us 🙂

IMAG7681 Happy Leo enjoying his time with his uncle Dyll

IMAG7692 My new adult colouring book

IMAG7703 Cool new crystals

IMAG7704 IMAG7705 IMAG7707 Doing some colouring in, in bed surrounded by my babies 🙂

IMAG7709 A little bit of a doodle

IMAG7710 IMAG7711  Some more mandala’s I’ve done

IMAG7716 Someone looks like she’s up to mischief lol

IMAG7717 The start of my first full A4 piece

IMAG7731 Harvey at the park on our boys day

IMAG7739 Another little picture I did, as I got stuck on my bigger picture

IMAG7741 Lego space shuttle

IMAG7752 Bedtime for my gorgeous babies

IMAG7762 Mine and L’s tattoos lol 😀 love it so so much

IMAG7772 Harley loves her little house

IMAG7782 Foxy girl says Hi 🙂

IMAG7785 Finished picture 🙂 love this one.

IMAG7792  Finished 🙂 my first full A4 picture, took 5 days to complete, loved this one too.

IMAG7793 Good morning scrappy doodles

IMAG7794 Morning snuggles with Harley

IMAG7797 But DADDDD its not too early to start playing fetch! PLEASE throw my turtle, look how cute I am!

IMAG7798 Harley looking rather evil lol

IMAG7801 Copying daddy stretching out on the sofa

IMAG7805 Pups heading to the park together 🙂

IMAG7809 Haha boo boo trying so hard to break his stick! had sound effects and everything lol

IMAG7814 Boo boo giving Foxy girl gentle kisses

IMAG7817 Harvey playing with the pups

IMAG7823 Foxy girl watching tv 🙂

IMAG7827 Sunday Selfie of this handsome boy lol

IMAG7828 She’s sooo tired she fell asleep with her butt in the air lol

IMAG7832 Arnie and Foxy having snuggles

IMAG7833 Feeding time at the zoo lol

IMAG7837 IMAG7838 Snuggles with my babies

IMAG7842 Marley always sits in front of me and just stares lol

IMAG7846 My gorgeous Harley Quinn looking at herself in my phones camera lol

Well that’s just a peek of my life in pictures over the last few weeks 🙂 it’s been busy but fun. All my passion and love are in these pictures ❤

Peace out


Pretty Perfect Sunday

I’m so tired I could fall asleep right now, I keep zoning out lol. But I shall write before bed time to get everything out.

For the 5 and a bit hours I did sleep last night, I slept solidly. I would have been asleep sooner but there was a guy who was hanging about outside the flats from 11 pm until about 2 pm, shouting up for someone who lives in the building and kept buzzing up too. So annoying, but the trouble is I couldn’t call 999 because it isn’t an emergency and the non emergency 101 takes AGES to get through too. I’ll be making a complaint to the housing tomorrow, I do every time this happens. Why this woman is still living in this building is beyond me, she’s always bringing her alcoholic, drug addict mates around or they are always looking for her. Pisses me off!

I was up by 7:30 am, had breakfast and chilled out. I sat and finished off my first picture in my adult colouring book and entered it into a competition on a group on fb, I didn’t win but it was still fun. The pictures theme was the sea and it was a full A4 page, I’ve only coloured in mandala’s before, so this was quite a big task 🙂 it took me 5 days to complete it. I did a smaller picture in between because I got stuck on the bigger one. I can’t wait to do another one 🙂 I’m really enjoying it.

Got myself and the pups ready and we left by 10 am, but got chatting for a bit to a couple with a really sweet Yorkie 🙂

Eventually we got to L’s lol! Scrappy couldn’t get into L’s flat quick enough, we got off the bus and he pretty much dragged me there lol. Arnie was happy to see his buddies 🙂

L put the bubble machine on and the pups when crazy, especially foxy girl. She loves bubbles so much 🙂

Took the pups to the park for a bit, while dinner was cooking. It was really nice, talked to lots of people, played with other dogs, played a bit of football 🙂

The park trip didn’t end well though, scrappy got into a bit of a scrap with another bigger dog. This dog went for scrappy because he was playing fetch and thought scrappy was going to take his ball but scrappy was playing with the football and he didn’t go near this dog, the dog ran into where scrappy was playing. Anyway now he’s got a lil patch of fur on his ear missing, his mouth on the right is a little swollen and both of his front paws have damaged pads and they are so sore for him to walk on, so I had to carry him back to L’s. The guy that owned the dog, didn’t help stop the scrap, didn’t apologise or even stop to see if scrappy was ok. He wasn’t a dangerous dog, he was a border collie and a young one at that. I know what dogs are like with balls, scrappy gets the same way but he could have at least stopped.

Pups were pooped when we got back and all crashed out. I watched The Boxtrolls with the boys while L sorted out the dinner.

Dinner was finally ready and it was so so nice 🙂 very much needed. I love a good roast dinner and it’s even better when someone else has cooked it for me :p probably the only dinner I ever really look forward too.

Chilled out on the sofa after dinner, watched the film Coraline 🙂 I took boo to the shop to get some chocolate fingers for pudding, ah yum.

I got myself and the pups ready to leave after the film, I didn’t want to get home too late. L and the boys came out with me to take Arnie for a wee wee, I ended up carrying Scrappy to the bus stop because he was limping on his paws, they must have been so sore walking on the pavement.

The cats greeted us when we got home, the pups flopped onto the sofa and pretty much haven’t moved since and neither have I lol.

We’ve been chilling tonight, watching CSI Vegas, we had a little snuggle too. I feel all snuggly and tired tonight but it’s a good sort of tired.

I’ll sleep well tonight, well providing no drunk idiots are outside. I’m not doing anything until about 4 pm tomorrow, so my plan is to chill in my pjs for most of the day, start a new picture and just relax and catch up on sleep too.

I’m going to do a separate post of pictures that I’ve taken the past few weeks, there’s a fair few lol.

Peace out


plan is to chill in my pjs for most of the day, start a new picture and just relax and catch up on sleep too.

I’m going to do a separate post of pictures that I’ve taken the past few weeks, there’s a fair few lol.

Peace out