I am pretty proud that I am 4 weeks in and I am still trying new foods, 5 years ago I wouldn’t/couldn’t have done something like this. I definitely want to continue and I want to try new meals and new places to eat out at.
Earlier today I popped to Asda and decided to pick up a new fruit to try and I got some plumbs as they were 6 for 50p which is cheap, loads cheaper then everything I’ve tried so far.
I got home around half 3-4 pm and I was a bit hungry, so I decided why not try a plumb. As usual I looked up to see if the dogs can try a bit too. Dogs are allowed the fleshy bit but the stone is dangerous and can poison them. I enjoyed the plumb so much the pups didn’t get a look in, they were so nice, juicy, a bit sharp but I was like why have I never eaten this before lol! So yay another fruit I can snack on.
I’ve been trying to think back to when I was a kid as to whether I have eaten a plumb before and I couldn’t remember. which is why I chose it, its a possibility that I have tried it as a kid but didn’t like it but I don’t remember. There’s a LOT of my past that I have little or no memory of because its traumatic. Wow just disassociated for a moment, just writing about my past triggers disassociation.
From today I am eating less, I’ve been indulging too much, too many takeaways, too much Pepsi, eating too many packets of crisps as an easy snack. So today I’ve eat less then I have been and actually feel a bit better for it. I am so so addicted to sugar and I really want to give up Pepsi completely but I’m addicted and I drink it for emotional reasons. It’s a comfort thing, that’s probably really weird. It actually makes me anxious to even think about not drinking Pepsi everyday…this definitely isn’t normal but this is the same thought process as an addict. I can say this with confidence as that’s how I felt when I thought about not self harming every day back when I used to cut loads every day. I have only self harmed twice in the last 3 and a bit years. But yeah Pepsi doesn’t even taste of anything any more because I drink it so much, I’m totally powerless over this addiction. I do want to quit but I don’t, I’m not quite there yet.
That’s all for now
So there are two parts to this weeks blog, I haven’t tried new food per-say but I tired a new meal and a new restaurant.
I’ll start with the new restaurant, so on Sunday I felt so so ill with a sinus infection, which I get all the time at the moment as my immune disorder isn’t currently under control. My head was so sore, I hurt all over, the weathers been rubbish and I was really hungry. I really didn’t have the energy to cook, I didn’t really fancy pizza hut. So I ordered from a place called Chicken N Blues, now this may seem easy for most people but when you have a issue with food its really not easy or simple eating at new places. I have a real fear of eating at places I never have before, I get worried about if I’ll like the food, will the food make me sick…the list goes on. So a simple thing to most people was actually a big thing for me. I ordered a grilled chicken wrap and corn on the cob and waited for it to be delivered.
My food arrived, I got a can of Pepsi and my tray and got comfy on the sofa. I unwrapped my chicken wrap and took a huge bite and wow omg I can’t believe I’ve never eaten that before, it was amazing and I ate the whole thing. It was so good, I literally could eat that every day lol. It was so good I had it Monday night too lol. I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and got food from a new place. I’m definitely getting better at this food bizz lol.
Part 2 of my diary is that I cooked a meal tonight, I had sweet and sour pork stir fry, with egg noodles. I used a rainbow stir fry veg mix, sweet and sour sauce with pineapple, pork and egg noodles, all from Asda. Now I don’t think I cooked the noodles properly as I’ve never cooked fresh pasta before, so I didn’t end up eating them. But hey cooking is about trial and error I suppose. But I really enjoyed the rest of it, all of it I’ve eaten before but I don’t think I’ve eaten it altogether before. I certainly haven’t cooked it for myself before and its definitely something I will eat again.
I know this isn’t strictly trying a new food but I still feel its helping me tackle me issues with food by stepping out of my comfort zone a bit. Oh I got food shopping delivered today and I bought myself more raspberries as I really enjoyed them last week.
Again no plans for what I’m going to try next week, will probably see on the day.
So it has been a week since I last posted and my appetite hasn’t been great. I’ve been eating breakfast and lunch but not dinner. This is down to a few things, low mood, lack of energy and the fact I want to lose weight and I know the less I eat the quicker the weight will fall off, maybe not the best way but right now I’m really struggling with my mood.
This week the food I tried was raspberries and to my surprise I actually like them. I found them really sweet and tasty. I definitely think I’ll be eating them again, my only issue is that they are so expensive, £2 for 150gs and people wonder why we have a obesity issue. For £2 I can get 12 packet of crisps. Anyway I digress, I think I’ll be finishing these raspberries because they were so nice.
Next week I think I might try a new vegetable as then it might encourage me to actually make dinner so go with it. Again I’m not going to plan too much in advance but it will require a bit more planning as I’ll have to plan the meal to go with it.
That’s all for now
I’ve not been around for a while, as I’ve been really struggling to deal with life and stuff in general. But I am working hard on getting myself back on track and back into the swing of things.
The holidays always throw me completely off track and off my routine.
So in lots of my previous posts I’ve talked about having trouble my my appetite, eating food, my relationship with food etc. I’ve been thinking about my eating habits a lot lately and I am acutely aware I eat way too much refined sugars and I don’t really eat much of a varied diet. This is highlighted to me when on the odd occasion I eat out, I only ever eat out at places I’ve eaten before and will only eat something I’ve eaten before and the thought of trying something new causes such anxiety. Also when I am bored of eating the same meals over and over and I look up new recipes, I never end up making them because they usually contain foods I’ve never eaten before so again it causes me great stress and anxiety.
This poor relationship with food goes back to my childhood…that’s a whole long other story. But the most important thing is that now I want to get over this fear I have of food and get over my poor relationship with food. I think its the right time, after all I am nearly 32 and as I have complex health issues I want a better diet as I know it will benefit my physical and mental health.
So I have decided to try one new food every week and I’m going to up date each week on what food I tried and if I liked it or not.
Today I tired blueberries for the first time, I also googled to see if the dogs were allowed to eat them and they are. They actually have the same health benefits for dogs as humans, which is cool. So I gave the dogs one each and I probably ate maybe 10 or more. The dogs weren’t impressed lol and only licked at the blueberry. I didn’t really like the texture of them, they were a bit like weird grapes. Maybe in the summer I will try them with strawberries, as they will be more seasonal then.
I am proud that I tried a new food, definitely a massive step forward in the right direction. Anything is possible if you are willing to be open.
The rest of the blueberries won’t go to waste, I’m going to take them to a course I am going to tomorrow.
I don’t know what’s on the menu next week, I’m not going to plan anything as that will cause me stress and anxiety. Just going to go with the flow.