I’ve not written for a few weeks, for various reasons. So I thought I would explain why and I think it would be helpful to me to write it down.
So I didn’t write last week because I was really struggling with binge eating and I think that was mainly down to my low mood. I just couldn’t stop it, usually I can recognise what I am doing and be mindful of it so I can stop. But I knew I was binge eating but I just couldn’t get on top of it like I usually do, for whatever reason. I just wasn’t in the mood to try a new food, the thought of it was stressing me out, however I am proud that I did try 5 new foods so far and I will continue. Maybe a weekly was a bit too challenging, as I am really realising I have such a bad relationship with food and I need to change my eating habits slowly and I think I maybe need to address the emotional side of poor relationship with food as well as trying new foods.
However this week I’ve been so poorly with a really bad sinus infection and it really knocked my appetite, mainly because I’ve been coughing so much and eating anything made me feel sick. I also just didn’t have the energy to even make a sandwich, let alone a meal. The plus side of this is that it has completely stopped my binge eating and I lost 4lbs and feel much better for it. Yesterday and today I ate dinner and have not as of yet ate more then I’ve needed. So I am hoping this short period has helped me get on top of the binge eating and get back into eating when I need to eat rather then eating all around the clock. But I’ve been put on a high dose of steroids, 40 mgs which can cause insomnia…check! and increase of appetite…which luckily as of yet I am being very mindful of what is going in my gob and I’ve not felt the increase of appetite…yet lol, there’s still time and if I do I’ll probably end up back in the cycle of binge eating but I’m going to try and be mindful and not just mindlessly eat without thinking. The mindless eating is my biggest pitfall and easy to get stuck in.
I managed to attend a LGBT mental health group I volunteer at today. It was so so great to be around humans! I’ve been by myself for most of the week and I’ve been really lonely, which is absolutely the worst when I’m poorly and not up to doing anything. Group definitely helped to just lift me, lift my mood and my spirit. I genuinely feel good and happy, I haven’t felt like this in a while.
Anyway, I’ll post again at some point, it may not be a food diary but I think I might update about life in general as it is at the moment.