Self care and Christmas

The holiday seasons can bring such joy but they can also bring a lot of stress and anxieties, people often put themselves into debt and really put themselves out over this time of year just to make everything amazing and magical so you can have the perfect Christmas that you can show off on your social medias.. But for some its a hard time of year for different reasons.

Mental health issues, eating disorders, addiction, grief, disabilities.. etc DO NOT disappear at Christmas. They still exist and its totally ok to be depressed, to feel sad at Christmas, you will not ruin Christmas! and if someone tells you that you’ve ruined their Christmas because you’re feeling sad then they are TOXIC as fuck! Because it is YOUR Christmas too and you are allowed to feel however you feel!

If you aren’t looking forward to Christmas this year for whatever reason it maybe try and put somethings in place that will make you happy and make you feel comforted. Because this is your Christmas too.

Every year I buy myself presents and I buy all the fur babies presents too and wrap everything up. Which makes me feel good, especially as one of my dogs will unwrap his presents which is so much fun to watch.

I spend the day with a friend and if the weather is good, get out for a nice walk and I make dinner and relax, watch some films maybe play a board game or two and generally just have a relaxing time. But throughout that time I don’t always feel 100% happy because I’m a human who experiences emotions and that’s ok, I’ll also still have to take my medications and pain killers because my chronic illness doesn’t take a day off.

Boundaries are SO important this time of year, as it is so easy to become overwhelmed and anxious. First boundary would be don’t spend what you don’t have! Buy Christmas presents for every person you know, or buy lots of presents just isn’t worth getting into debt over! Put a limit on what you spend and don’t feel guilty about not buying everyone something, even kids you may have in the family or friends kids. Just because it is Christmas your are under no obligation to get them anything, especially if you can’t afford too, because the stress of being in debt will be worse then the 5 mins of joy that a present creates. If you HAVE to give presents, be creative, make something, gift something you don’t use, get it from a charity shop.

Time boundaries are super important too, as people feel obliged to see you just because its the season. But if you don’t feel up for seeing people when they’re feel try not to feel guilty, there’s always another time. Or if you simply don’t want to see that person, say no. It’s ok to say no to things that you don’t want to do especially if it won’t make you feel good. Don’t push yourself into doing things you really don’t want to do, even if its family engagements, you are under NO obligations to do anything! Do no let anyone bully you, guilt you or gaslight you into doing things you don’t want to do. You are you own person, with things going on and if you’re struggling with the season, tell people, tell them you’re not really feeling it and why and you’d rather just not do whatever it is and if they don’t respect that, they are the problem.

Time boundaries on Christmas day is important too, if you need to take some time out own your own, to nap or just be by yourself, do it! You don’t need to explain yourself, take yourself off and have some down time, that is TOTALLY OK! and much needed and it can get really overwhelming, especially if you’re surrounded by lots of people. It’s hard to be happy and social if you don’t feel it inside. Take some time to yourself to recharge, you will not ruin anything. You and your mental health is super important too, everyone will still be there when you’re ready to re-join everyone and if you just can’t face going back that’s totally ok too! Do what you need to do, take time to listen to yourself and what YOU need.

If you’re spending Christmas alone through choice or not, try and stay off social media, although I know there are usually a few different chats throughout Christmas on Twitter, which could be useful if you’re feeling lonely. Reach out to people, do things that make you happy, like I mentioned earlier, I always but myself presents and wrap them up. Just lots of self care, you are not alone. If you choose not to participate in Christmas at all that’s totally cool too, its not an easy time for everyone.

There’s lots of things you can do on Christmas, you can treat it like any other day, you can volunteer at a local soup kitchen, or at a animal rescue place, I’m sure there are lots of volunteering opportunities over the Christmas period.

But whatever you choose to do, whatever your doing, its ok to feel sad and lonely, its ok to still be grieving that doesn’t stop because its Christmas, its ok to reach out for help, its ok to be happy. It’s just OK, you’ll get through it. You are much stronger then you think. I mean we’ve made it this far right! 🙂

Peace out

Zak

Recharging myself

Ahh I am so so tired, even though I’ve slept most of the day. I think I am coming down with a cold or something.

It’s been a few days since I posted, mainly because I’ve been taking some time out to myself. So I’ll do a quick catch up.

Thursday – Group… It was ok but I just felt shut down. Pissed me right off which triggered the time out to myself bit. So this day was pretty much a write off.

But I had myself a pizza hut for dinner and started a new picture in my Animorphia book and just chilled out and ignored my phone. I totally needed it.

I had a nice shower with my baby bedtime wash, which totally helps adults too 🙂 made me feel more relaxed and sat in bed with my babies, did some more colouring in and had a batman cartoon film on in the background, then went to sleep after the film had finished.

Friday – I slept really well the night before but still didn’t want to wake up lol.

Fracture clinic update – The Dr is happy with the movement of my elbow and in the x-ray the fracture is hardly visible now, but still got another 4 weeks healing. It doesn’t look like my thumb is broken thank god! My pain in it is loads better, but if I still get pain within the next 2 weeks I can go back and they will scan it. But I don’t think it is cuz I’ve been able to start slowly using my hand, it just has no power in it, can’t lift anything yet.

I got the bus back into town and then another bus to Asda, I don’t usually do that but my legs were so sore and I was really tired.

I took the pups out for a quick wee, came back and snuggled up on the sofa with some lunch and had an hours nap.

Did some more colouring in 🙂 and I so in love with the Animorphia book.

I went into town for an hour and posted some tops I bought for my friends bump 🙂 and I went into see my friend in the sweet shop.

Had myself some dinner and took the pups out for a nice long walk. It was so nice out and I got some really lovely pictures 🙂 I so love living here, it’s such a beautiful place.

I love being out with the dogs, I love being by the sea, makes me feel at peace and just happy. I always feel better after a nice walk with them.

When I got home I had to give Mr scrappy a nice wash because he stank of the sea and fox poop lol, I definitely didn’t want him in my bed stinking it up! He hates having a shower, yet he will roll and run through anything lol. I had a nice relaxing shower after him and got into my pjs 🙂

Just spent the evening relaxing in front of the tv, had a lil visitor which was cool 🙂

I didn’t end up going to bed until about 2 am lol.

So that leads to today 🙂

I slept well again last night, think my sleep is back on track again which is good, that’s probably because I am eating better and I’m not going to bed still feeling hungry.

I didn’t wake up till about 10 am, I had some breakfast and watched some TV. By midday I was tired and I slept until 5 pm lol! I think I needed it.

Got a shower, got dressed and had some dinner. Then spent an hour across the road with the pups while the they were running about and again I felt so at peace out there with them.

I’ve just been relaxing this evening. Watched Dante’s Peak, love that film so so much.

Still feeling really tired but I think I’ve got a bit of a sinus infection again, been feeling really snotty and snuffly lately. Hope it just goes away, can’t deal with having a cold right now.

I plan to be a bit more productive tomorrow, the plan is the clean up the flat, take the pups out for a walk, have a nice dinner and do some colouring 🙂 I’m definitely going to bed much earlier then 2 am.

The weather has cooled right down and I can not stop shaving! WOOHOO! I am now in jeans, t-shirts and hoodies 😀 So I can get away with being a guy a bit better. I really need to look into getting a sports bra to flatten my chest down a bit, without the discomfort of a binder. Just need to pick up the courage to shop for one.

Here’s some pictures from my walk yesterday

 YUP 🙂

 Scrappy by the sea where we scattered my dad ❤

 My beautiful foxy girl 🙂

 Scrappy loves swimming

 ❤

 ❤

 ❤

 Looks so peaceful

 Just stunning ❤

 My gorgeous babies ❤

Some pictures from today

 Foxy girl

 Scrappy doodles

 Happy pups 🙂

 ❤

Peace out

Batman